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    dots Submission Name: Riskdots

    Author: bonita2689
    Elite Ratio:    3.83 - 43/60/34
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1085
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 678

       okay so its like all these horrible risks presented but then in actuality, it is the simplest of things that seem to be the greatest of those, like being yourself.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I'm fighting a devil's battle,
    sweating incomprehensively
    in an ethereal existence,
    watching crimson float as flame.

    I'm sparking a salacious rendezvous
    confusion hissing in my ear
    a malicious tale of lies, deceit
    and purging a sanguine slumber

    I'm teetering the edge of intoxication
    throwing a gaudy fair for those inquiring,
    a genuine masquerade to epitomize
    my unbelievable asphyxiated charade

    but the greatest risk...

    is breathing a breath all my own
    swallowing a life half-languished
    breaking the shell of diffidence

    Submitted on 2006-10-08 12:26:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "I'm fighting a devil's battle"

    Wow, this line starts the poem off real well. And it's true, we are all fighting with the devil. Reminds me of Ephesians 6:12:
    "because we have a wrestling, not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces in the heavenly places."

    Satan and his demons are making things difficult for us today.

    "in an ethereal existence" --> like you aren't there, like you don't exist, like you are mist...interesting...

    "I'm sparking a salacious rendezvous" --> I had to look up salacious because I wasn't sure what it was. Its "lustful" or "obscene". So I guess by the three lines after this one that you have become the talk of the town, the subject of gossip and slander. And you are just trying to be yourself.

    In the third stanza you are putting off the illusion that you are strong and wonderful, while in reality you are just masquerading your "unbelievable asphyxiated charade".

    I think the last line really sums up the whole thing:
    "breaking the shell of diffidence"

    When you reach the end of the poem, you have realized which risks are greater than others and that being yourself is the greatest risk. And in the end, you gain confidence in yourself once again.

    Excellent poem! It truly shows insight and thoughtfulness. Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]

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