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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Take Herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Burnt Rose
    ASL Info:    22/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 85/122/29
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 117
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 935



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTake Herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Heavy in her hand,
    The blade was cold and sharp.
    Pressed against her fair skin,
    Piercing the flesh.
    The pain was bearable
    Just needing the release.
    Dripping down her
    The tears of frustration.
    Resentment and mistrust,
    Feelings of sadness, loneliness
    Screaming and weeping
    Alone she cries.
    Hollow and empty
    The pain will not subside.
    Red blood trickling off her arm,
    She gasps in shock and awe,
    'I've finally done it'
    She silently says to herself.
    Not believing she could really mark her skin.
    Scraping and gauging,
    More blood appears.
    Deeper and deeper.
    In fear she grabs a towel,
    Throws down the knife.
    It's blade twinkles with a glossy red.
    Patting and rubbing,
    She soaks up the blood.
    Hysterically she waits alone




    Submitted on 2006-10-08 12:27:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      In all honesty, I didn't really care for the ending.. After the brilliantly put together piece ahead of the last few lines, I was left with dissapointment, and feeling like I had just watched an Episode of "Saved By The Bell".

    It did offer some excellant imagry though, which is of course ver important in a piece like this.
    | Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by Pprophet | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent piece, shows good images, well not good, but you know what i mean, the piece makes the images appear in you mind, as if you are standing in the same room watching, the flow is kind of rough, and the ending is like... i was waiting for more, i didn't want to stop reading... im hoping for a part 2
    | Posted on 2006-10-08 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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