[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Costume Changedots

    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1464
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 948


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCostume Changedots

    At the top of the stairs,
    your eyes look like bats.
    "Kid, what's with the cape?
    And why the top hat?
    Who are you this time?
    Today, you look dead."

    You smiled politely
    through each word you said.

    Well, I changed my colors,
    my costume, my mind.
    Awake in the evening,
    I'm back to this shrine.
    Identity crisis?
    It's more like, "obsessed."
    What keeps us apart
    is not how we're dressed.

    You say, "The sun's pretty."
    I say, "'Cause it burns."
    This time, I am leaving,
    but not to return.
    From the top of the stairs,
    you laugh now, at last.
    Some things, so simple,
    must stay in the past.

    Submitted on 2006-10-08 18:45:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hehe - this one reminded me of someone with multiple personalities - "Who are you today" and I really enjoyed that - although, there are several different ways it could be interpreted. This makes me want to write a 'multiple personalities' poem - lol! Thanks for sharing :)

    ~Mandi Gayle~
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      uh, hmml I see now, said the blind mute. This reminds me of "the black parade" meets "puttin' on the ritz" I like playing a MM version of Puttin on the ritz, he hasn't covered it, but it souns similar to how he'd have it; based on his other covers that is(it's not deliberate though, just kinda hit that way). But I hate the black parade! My simble for my band; I'll make another one sooner or later, is gonna be the black smiley, kinda like the Nirvana one, but with the smiley black, and his features red; fuck yeah! It be ill! And have dismentled write all fucked up like, yeah; now all I need is another guitarist, bassits, drummer, and vocalists(i can't do ALL at once)though I can do all adequeteally enough! ok, WONDERFUL!
    | Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      A vamp in us all. I liked the way this one rolled of the paper and hit me in the lap. This was one of your best and the perfect month to write it in.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to agree with Ron this was very clever, so much so i cant even begin to decipher what you are saying. Maybe the persona grew older and her personality changed and the other character could be your mom or dad wondering where the earlier you went but the earlier you has died. I dont know, whoever said coffee makes you think is such a liar.

    High on Folger's,
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      Really really bizarre :-) . Just how I like it. I don't understand the idea and I will not try to decypher it but it definetly makes me think. Again, you're a MASTER of rhymes and the imagery is just priceless even if it is a bit abstract. Yeah, look who's talking, huh?!
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Does the fact that this made me smile make me weird?

    Yes, I smiled. This made ME smile. Amazing, I have to say you are a miracle worker Nikki.

    You say, "The sun's pretty."
    I say, "'Cause it burns."

    -Favourite lines.

    Don't get me wrong about the fact that I smiled either, I really liked it. I'm just retarded

    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. fav line: You say "the sun's pretty, I say "cause it burns". Wow, you are very talented. This inspired me. I read all of your stuff and this is my favorite. It is just so true and well written. I don't have a critique, this is just too perfect.

    Thanks for listening,
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by chelseagirl077 | [ Reply to This ]
      Having not read anything else of yours, I'm not sure if you would consider this one of your best, but in all honestly, I very much liked it.

    This may be one of the only pieces I've read in quite awhile that didn't entirely focus on how horrid the writer's life is. I find it to have a more original angle than what I'd expected, and for that, I'm pleased. I especially loved these lines;

    You say, "The sun's pretty."
    I say, "Cause it burns."

    Overall, everything was precise and full of emotion. Even if you couldn't see what the emotion was, you knew it was there. Very, very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-10-09 00:00:00 | by Darkess | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really clever and well worded write where you show that when one changes their attitude one can enjoy life more if they were living trapped with a negative attitude
    I have read some of your writes and I must admit I like this one the best out of all of yours I have read
    This is strong and carries a strong message that if one does change for the better Life is opened up more and they have a much clearer path to happiness
    Excellent Job
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance I recently posted 2 new writes Please let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-10-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]