i thought this piece was written rather well, however there were some parts that i didn't really like - there were some lines in certain stanzas that didn't seem to work well with the rest.
"Ciphering the melodic chemistry weve made Temperatures they rise until the sunsets our long day"
the "Temperatures they rise until" didn't fit the rhythm you were creating. if you say your lyrics aloud, that one line doesn't fit. it's a great line, but i think you should revise it a little - perhaps just switch a few words around. oh, and the word "sunsets" is saying "there's several sunsets", instead of saying "the sun was setting" signifying the end of the day. i think you should put "sun sets" for grammatical purposes, unless that's they way it's suppose to be.
"Understand intentions meant to put you in the mood We're not the same together like when I was once with you"
i'm a little bit confused on what you're trying to say here on the first two lines . is it referring to something else that i'm unaware of? i don't see much of a connection with the rest of your lyrics - to me it was almost like it was thrown in there.
"Wond'rin' what its like to be the diamond in your rough"
those are my favorite lines out of this entire piece. but i have one question - what's rough? maybe there's a definition to this word i don't know about, considering some words relating to a certain subject can mean something completely different. english is a very complicated language.
"finding the[r] climax" typo?
well, i really enjoyed this piece. other than the things i pointed out, i thought this was beautifully written. hopefully, i'll get to read more of your work. take care :)