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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Here I Standdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1187



    Description:
       ... Mmm I really don't know... just have so much on my mind trying so hard to get it out but .. its hard to "just" write about it.

    ~*Jackie*~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHere I Standdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The destrcution is in process...
    This meticulously desinged box..

    It is now when these walls

    That surrounded this so carefully structured box..
    That then crumble benthe me..

    For I am broken
    Just as my walls are..
    But more importantly..

    This box,
    These walls..

    Have kept them out..
    and Myself in...

    Now I stand before them

    Helpless
    Naked
    Alone..


    Yet I am surrounded by several
    I am not alone..
    Yet I choose to be..
    I feel this pain
    But it could be contained..
    Yet I choose to feel this excruciating pain
    Because this is all I've felt...
    So here I am...

    Helpless
    Naked
    Alone..


    This box ..
    No longer lingers with me
    Those walls no longer Protect me
    I'm abonded by all I was acoustomed to..
    So here I stand

    Helpless
    Naked
    Alone..




    Submitted on 2006-10-09 22:14:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love all your work! You're an abolutely amazing writer. This one is quite ... shall we say, "thick"... Tons of meaning behind it, with slightly muddled words. But I love it tons.

    -Rach
    | Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by Mekhena | [ Reply to This ]
      Very intense write, the feelings come through loud and clear, keep writing, Dean
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for commenting on mine! Wow this one runs deep... it's very depressive and can easily be pictured in the mind. There was a few mistakes with capitalization and spelling, but over all I understood it.
    Keep up the work!

    -Bill
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by BigRed | [ Reply to This ]
      Nie work here, but tas littered with typos, i really appreciated d sense of void coneyed through the entire poem making it fit with the theme. depression can choke and is rather contagious like leprosy...i would love to ask if the ''BOX'' MENTIONED HERE IN D POEM REFERS TO YOUR HEART?
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by realpassion | [ Reply to This ]
      nice its good i like it...
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]


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