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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Teardropsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rememberplaydoh
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 78/102/60
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 843



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTeardropsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Falling
    from the sky
    a teardop
    of the clouds,
    rushing
    through the air;
    all passing quickly by.

    Kissing
    an upturned face,
    bringing comfort
    to a lonely soul,
    mixing
    with earth-tears,
    running down wet cheeks.

    Joining
    tear-drop brethren,
    tumbling downward
    toward the ocean.
    Arriving,
    they stand waiting;
    a turbid pool of sorrow.

    Melting,
    clouds disperse.
    The sun peeks through
    and warms the sea.
    Shining
    on the water,
    calling the liquid to herself.

    Rising,
    spirits turn
    toward the sun.
    Troubles, like the vapor,
    evaporating,
    joining the clouds
    before beginning the cycle again.




    Submitted on 2006-10-10 00:42:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The first thing I noticed about this particular piece was the imagery and the way each section started.

    When reading the actual piece, you can easily see the pictures you paint. The raindrops, the ocean, etc. HOWEVER...

    In looking further around the sections, we can see that indeed, the piece is not only directed towards the raindrops and sorrowful images they express. In reality, we can see that each stanza begins with a reference to love! "falling, kissing, etc." This is well put together, I must say. To the possibly untrained eye, the words mean nothing. But to those who look for further meaning, these words bring a smile and maybe a warmer heart. It did to me.

    Also, I noticed in my 4th time through, that indeed, this should not be classified as Misc, my dear! This should be classified as Love! At least! In rereading, I noticed also that the raindrop analogy could be compared to the ultimate intimacy, thus including the beginning words. Love! True and utter love.

    I shall favorite this piece. Thanks for the gift!

    ---Restless
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Raging Rain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    121101

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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