Description: I thought I'd found love....and lost it. Then once more, I thought love had found me. But it hadn't. I wasn't sure about love anymore, or life for that matter, I felt empty, until I realized that the mistakes I'd made needed forgiveness, and that the Lord will bandage me up, and send me on my path once more, a better person, a better child in Christ. Ultimately...that's all I ever needed.
Only When I Close My Eyes -------------------------------------------
It's a nagging pinch...
a reminder maybe?
A cold, seeping invisible river that runs over the babbling brook of blood through my viens.
There are times I just try and push them aside...
block them out from my thoughts.
Still, when the silence speaks to me, and the night blankets over my weary eyes, that is when they come rushing back, as if to taunt me, to haunt me.....
Showing me that I'm not above asking for forgiveness.
My life is still one big questionable story...
written on the pages of my soul.
Splashed across the canvas of my heart....waiting, waiting for something, anything.
But the answers find me....
You have a real way with words, I love the way that you explained the lingering feelings of sins, We can try and push them aside, we can try and hide them but those nasty little things just keep coming up. Who made up sins anyway?, what if a real sin is eating corn on the cobb, wow would'nt we feel stupid in hell!! Anyway I really enjoyed this and I'm looking foward to reading more, Thanks, Will (Twice)
I cannot fully express with words how deeply this speaks to me. I have fallen so far into darkness and I know (I have always known) the answer.
But I sidestep it... avoid it with everything in me. Why? Because I can't handle my own condemnation.
I loved with my whole heart and I was ripped to shreds and I haven't forgiven God (please don't let lightening strike me) because for years I prayed and begged Him to make me strong enough - to make my husband man enough - I begged for peace.
I believe the peace He gave me was freeing me from that prison of jaded love. But that left me empty. I've filled it up with one night stands and bars and... trash. Sin rules my life and I don't talk to God. And still I know (I don't need a sermon) what the answer is.
You have such a powerful way with words. The alliteration is valuable, and helps thicken the content, as well as the subtle rhyme or maybe just a rhythm. Can i tell you what I think? I hope to encourage you.
Don't be trapped by shame any longer, Satan has no power over you. Claim Galatians 2:20, its not 'you' anymore, therefore your strength and ability to overcome sin doesn't really matter because its not about your strength or ability, its about his. Claim the promises of God, and say it out loud, speak against Satan. I heard it said once that the greatest trick the devil ever played on the world was when he convinced us that he wasn't real. Society, "Christian" society dumbs down that fact that we are in the middle of a warzone, there are battles going on all around us and within us everyday. Don't believe the trick, even if it feels uncomfortable. When you stand up and face the enemy, not by your strength but by Gods mighty hand, only then can you feel freedom. God is your father, how would or do you feel when your father stands up for you against a trail or an enemy? Man, I would feel more lovely in that moment, than any other time. So let God be that for you, and be that for him. "For my grace is sufficient for you, my power if made perfect in weakness." Don't try to be strong, let God be strong.