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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: grinch.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: narcolepsy
    ASL Info:    19/F/Pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 129/135/60
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgrinch.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    remember:

    rewind,
    replay,
    repeat.

    because now?

    now my faint glow of a heart
    has let go, and flickered out.

    i'm like the fucking grinch,
    i want to see you cringe...

    you'll never hurt me again.




    Submitted on 2006-10-10 12:33:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      been there.
    revenge is sweet.

    "now my faint glow of a heart
    has let go, and flickered out"
    i like.

    but in terms of poetry.. i think you could do more.
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      Criticism: lack of specifics as to what the relationship is, but maybe specifics would do more harm than good - you decide.

    Praise: direct. consistent. short and brutal, just like the character's emotion. I like the 'faint glow of a heart.'

    Overall: not bad - seems like therapy more than anything else.

    | Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by tjsmith5 | [ Reply to This ]


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