A Boys Best Friend -------------------------------------------
The Olde Teapot
Resting Peacefully on the Stove
The One I Havent Used for So Long
Reminds me of the Memories of You
Together We Sat
Letting the Beautiful Sunlight
Unite Two Souls as One
Thinking Nothing
Would Ever Break Us Apart
How I Miss
Your Smiling Face
And the Gentle Touches
You Gave me as A Child
Always Letting me Know
No matter what
Grandma would Be There
To Erase All the Pain
Trapped Inside
The Growing Mind of A Child
The Years have Passed
And Your Memory is Everywhere
Everywhere I Look I Find another item
That Draws me Back
To the One Love
That Never Could be Broken
I want to Thank You
For Always Being There
And Helping that Little Child
Grow Into the Man I am Today
I Wait Patiently
Till the Day my Earthly Life is Over
And Once Again
I Can See Your Smiling Face
Proving to Everyone
Once and For All
The Bonds of Love
Cannot be Broken by Death
Only Made Stronger
In Beautiful Eternal Life
So vivid is your description of your grandmother’s importance to your development. I myself never having a grandmother could understand the warmth, comfort of a loving relative. My only suggestion is lower casing the frequent capitals because they make the piece read awkwardly. I don’t often see pieces on the love of a grandparent as frequently as I see pieces for more immediate family. I think exploring the other influential people in a young person’s life was an excellent idea.
I loved the sentiment that was evident here. You have a gift for writing simply, in a way that cannot be mistaken for being genuine and heartfelt - well done!
The subject matter of a young boy and his grandmother (?) was also particularly touching for me, as I have young boys and a mother that I love dearly.
The only suggestion I have is to question the use of capitals in every sentence - it halted the flow for me...
Hi Ron. WRITTEN FROM THE HEART!
It's a pleasure to read.
The following I just wrote for you.
A very SPECIAL LOVE you shared
With a Grandmother who really Cared
With YOU GRANDMA WILL ALWAYS BE
Guiding you to YOUR DESTINY
Deep in your heart she will remain
And help to ease your grief and pain
So KEEP HER AWAYS THERE my friend
For she will be with you to the end.
I am quite sure your dear grandmother would have received the joy of it in Heaven......
You put it well in words.......
somehow every item in the household is linked to the person's living in there.....God Forbid that anyone were to lose a member of the family; the presence of the things they used and possessed keep them alive in our memories always .
A great tribute to a deserving grandmother........
In your poem, you have mentioned all the things that grand parents do for their grandchildren and the gratitude you expressed through every line is really endearing.
This is absolutely beautiful, Ron! My natural mother died before I knew her, and her parents were so loving and such a blessing to me as long as they lived. Your wonderful poem helped me to remember them and the love I felt for them!
beautiful piece~I lost my grandfather this year, I really relate to this~words really only sum up the impact that they have on our lives~again, its beautiful
im obviously not the first to say this...but as someone whos grandmother has had a tremendous impact upon them I LOVE THIS!!! i 100% know that without her i would be in prison right now cant say much more other than i love this one and ill be adding it to my favorites
i love this partially because it is so simplistic but mostly because i love my grandmother, i try to spend as much time with ehr as humanly possible with school and stuff, my grandmother means the workd to me and yeh. good job her Ron....Joy
Hmm. Yeah i think this one is a great one, but since i dont spend my time with my grandmother (she is living far away from me) this is give me a clear picture about a perfect grandma. Well thanks for sharing, keep it up, oh i wonder if you have anytime to check my works thanks m8.
If you were to restructure this with punctuated sentences - and by dropping the meaningless capitals - it would become a mere ramble in prose. Though there is no doubt you feel strongly about your loss and it is well meant it is not much more than mere prosaic thoughts - there isn't anything here that lifts your personal ideas of your grandparent above most others. I feel there should be more work with some thoughtful editing to give the piece a modicum of power and poetc sentiment. I am glad I read it as it gave me pause for thought about my long lost grandparents - I vaguely knew two.
Not to be overly blunt or harsh, or negative as you might put it, but I found this piece overly simplistic and without beauty. Your use of capitales was redundantly abused, like an old rhyme, and you basically just told us your thoughts in the form of a poem. Telling your thoughts does make it poetry, but not beautiful - althought beauty does inherently depend on one's judgmental perceptions - and this is slightly obvious in this piece to me. It's great to want to show us how eternal, and beautiful love can be, but you aren't doing that in this piece at all. You're just saying it is, not showing us how. This piece, in my mind, could've been a lot longer, and much more meticulously detailed and laded by imagery and metaphores. Give us details on what you and your grandparent did, lose us in a barrage of beautiful words that only begin to detail what love truely is. Make us appreciate it, instead of just telling us we should. Another tip, try and be less personal in your pieces in the sense of being less "I,I;I,I!" and never use which proves I AM right! Instead, state things like you would an essay. Love is beautiful - although whimsical, and sometimes trapped in objects without real meaning, other than personal significance that enrapts one is candied ectasy of a time once.... etcetera.... Break down your ideas, explore imagery, and take the time you need to make it what it should be, instead of what it is bluntly. Sharpen your sword
Outlaw-ed
P.S: Enjoy the ups of criticism, and don't take any of it personally.
this is stunning Ron. you have an amazing way with words. i'm at a loss for anything to say, i am in awe. you have left me speechless. (not many people can do that!!) BEAUTIFUL!!
This is such a beautiful and sentimental poem of longing and love, I sorry that you lost your grandma but I love the beautiful way you wrote about it, I guess that is what makes us writers and poets special we express ourselves wether it be our personal selves or the tria;s and struggles we go throughbecause evrything we go through we can create a beautiful creation of it
Very beautiful, Ron. I very much enjoyed reading this. It made me think of my own grandfather. Sadly, when I was only 5, he passed away, so I don't rememeber a lot of the things he did with me. Thanks for putting a wonderful image into my head though. This is a really good write.
Experience is the best teacher and the brightest muse - the "sire of wisdom": something I have not had much of. I was never close with my grandfather, mind. But that's another bedtime story.
This is beautiful Ron, Grandparents are very specialpeople, I wish I was close to mine, at least I have a small window of opportunity now to get to know them :)
It's amazing how even the little things bring back some fo the happiest memories of our lives, for me it could be anything music, a smell, something someone says and instantly I am taken back to a time when i think as i a child i was most happiest.
When I was a young girl my brother, sisters and I used to play a game at my grandparents place I think they called it prisoner but i dont think i ever fully understood what the game was about. But one thing I remember so clearly was that I was standing in my grandpas garage and my oldest sister (stormyskies) had come to visit which was very rare and I remember I so desperately wanted her to play with me, so I asked her if she wanted to play and I remember she said she didn't want to because she was to old to play games and that really hurt me, i dont think she knew that what she said hurt me and I havent told her that it did but that always stayed with me and it is only now as an adult myself that i have truly gotten to know my sister.
Anyway back to the poem I really liked this, it was fantastic.
hmm.. i like. i've never been close to my grandparents. but have often wished that the case was different. this poem makes me realise how much i've been missing out on. it gives an insight into how special the relationship can be. its touching.
Grandparents always seem to prove to been the most special of people in the world, and most of us I think have very loving and fawned memories of them rather they are still with us in this world or have on to another plane,I think you did a lovely job of this piece Ron, I really liked the opening of the poem it had a way of being a warm setting to the piece and a lazy kind of gentleness which helped bring up memories in the reader as well and sharing yours good write adnil
This is a really good write. I am very close to my grandma and am not looking forward to the day when she dies, but i know i will always have memories and that is more than some people will have and i am very grateful for it.
A very beautiful piece you have here my friend. Such a nice sentiment to your grandmother. It really shows how much of a great relationship you had with her. Keep up the fantastic writing, and look forward to reading more soon :) sara x
Submission Name: A Boys Best Friend
