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Stranger With Your Face


Author: MyFairCalamity
ASL Info:    17**I'm a lady**philly
Elite Ratio:    7.1 - 115 /67 /16
Words: 111
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 780
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 739



Description:




Stranger With Your Face



Well what a surprise
I’ve found out all your lies
And now with my own eyes
I see through your disguise

What for years you’ve been hiding
Its cover’s been dieing
Now I’m done deciding
What to do with my finding

Now I can’t believe
You didn’t mean to deceive
When all the words I receive
Add to this web that you weave

I won’t forgive of forget
And you’ll come to regret
All the secrets you’ve kept
That I’ve come to except

Everything I thought I knew
Had believed and held true
All misconceptions I bid adieu
Because it turns out, I never knew you




Submitted on 2006-10-10 18:57:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think that the idea of this poem was good but it was alittle weak with the wording. I think that it was going good but your right about the last stanza. it was a bit awkward but i really liked the last line. Maybe you could change-
"Everything I thought I knew
Had believed and held to be true

to:

"Everything I thought I knew
I believed and held true

It fits and is still basically the same thing.

"All misconceptions to which I bid adieu"
Im not sure what to do about that. It sounds awkward but i dont know. maybe:

Your misconceptions are through.
or you could change the whole thing or keep it the same because it isnt that big of a deal. Whatever works for you.

I would keep the last line because it end the poem perfectly.

And the title works perfectly too. I think it is the title of a book. Im not sure though. Either way its perfect.

Your awesome,
~Samm


| Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
  This makes me feel empty. (No, that's not a bad thing.)
I like this a lot, but I think it needs more descriptions.
Like, when you said "disguise," maybe you could break out a nifty metaphor explaining a certain type of disguise. I know you're familiar with costumes lol
I love that it's not too specific though, that way more people can relate.

The title is f***ing wonderful. It fits so perfectly.

I think this is my favorite part:

"I won’t forgive of forget
And you’ll come to regret
All the secrets you’ve kept
That I’ve come to except"

Quite impressive... it's like one big sentence
Plus, it made me sad.


I love the last line too. How well do you really know anyone these days? Everybody lies about something, even if it's just something stupid.

Oh hold on... I have to send pictures of my doggie to Ohio Tom lol

All right... I'm back... Where was I?
Oh yes: You can't be sure if you know anyone.

There's got to be at least one thing you don't know about me.
Like... I feel that life would be easier if everybody hated me because then I could kill myself without hurting anyone.
I would really LOVE to die (although I say I wouldn't). I know it sounds like one big pathetic cliché, but it's true.
But then again, you probably already knew that though.
Well, anyway, I suppose life wasn't meant to be easy, was it? I guess I'll just have to stay alive. lol
God, I'm sick.

And I disagree with what you said about the last stanza.
I don't think it feels awkward. Maybe the line, "Had believed and held to be true" does a little bit, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Overall, deary, I enjoyed this. I want to know more about it though. What was it inspired by?
Help me lol I'm interested.

Your talent never fails to amaze me

Your biggest fan in life EVER
-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  Ilike this, and the last stanza does not feel awkward I think it is perfect and you should not change one thing!

I hate it when you find out that a relationship you have had or are having is founded on lies because it will never survive, I just don't understand why people cannot be honest with each instead of hiding everything.

Well done

Tink
| Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]


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