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    dots Submission Name: Pablo Nerudadots

    Author: She Is Insane
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 40/60/32
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763


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    dotsPablo Nerudadots

    I love you as one embraces the everlasting supplier of burning fire, 
    Light, light, like honesty, bares your deepest secrets, desires;
    Revealing the ugliest of things,
    And if I were to shove a flashlight into your cluttered, dusty mind and-
    See reality take shape, I would still love you endlessly.

    I love you the way a mother flaunts her only babe, proud
    I love you as an amateur poet envelops clichés, not knowing how
    I love you incompletely, the holes still filling in, one by one,
    I love you one day at a time, straightforwardly, patiently,
    So I love you because this is the only path I know perfectly.

    Submitted on 2006-10-10 20:05:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it! Critique would be useless, because even if I told you to change this or change that, you wouldn't. And there's nothing I would change either because this isn't my poem. And hi my name is Nobody and I listen to The Clash. How 'bout you? Tee hee hee?

    Yours Truly,
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really sweet and beautiful write where you show us your readers just how much your Soulmate truly means to you
    You used excellent words to create a strong emotion that was a very important part of this write
    Your soulmate is one lucky person to have such a loving person in their life
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I've adored Neruda since I was in my early teens. He probably wrote the best love poems ever and is among the best poets period. This is a good parody and a nice tribute. I'm glad that you didn't give it the same structure. I've read several parodies of this, and most include some allusion to the famous "I love you only because it's you the one I love;/ I hate you deeply, and hating you" passage: I'm glad you bucked that trend. Ironically, I have a love/ hate relationship with "And if I were to shove a flashlight into your cluttered, dusty mind." However, that's probably because it actually sounds like a line I'd use in my own work, so ignore that because it's complete hypocrisy. (It reminds me of a poem I posted here a long time ago called Gray Maze).

    I hope all is well,
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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