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    dots Submission Name: Cirque du Soullessdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 584

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    dotsCirque du Soullessdots

    You've offered me
    something I no longer
    love. Children fear
    clowns, their frightening
    gaze is best suited
    to slapstick in leering
    greasepaint; like
    good alter egos
    in a cheap stage play

    Your chains are
    so lovely, such
    bright metaphors
    for the unpolished
    fetters you'd
    bartered them for

    Now I've kissed
    the eruptions on
    your pale bruised skin,
    caressing each callous
    like DeSade's mannequin


    Submitted on 2006-10-11 10:29:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im not quite sure i understand this either... but i will say that i find clowns the most terrifying thing to walk the face of Earth. they are my worst phobia. even when i was little... well... -muses-
    i find that your second stanza held the most interest.
    the last one also held good imagery, with the pale bruised skin. overall, im not understanding the underlying meaning, if there is one, but i like it.
    thank you for the comment.
    - Michi
    | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by _Phoenix | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure that I get this but the imagery is stunning and the opening with the child frightening Crusty excellent.

    Historically clowns have always been frightening.

    hugs nessie
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      If one visited a place where empty souls performed, your title fits very well. And those who harbor emptiness hide it so very well, and their masks would rival the actors on a Shakespearean stage.

    I read this one the other day Bill, and it was so very stark as to be stunning. But I understand exactly the type of character you are portraying. For one, those whom we have placed much faith in can occur to us this way when our romance with them ends. And likely that it will.

    The question is, are they an image not unlike ourselves even as we let go of their glory? perhaps ours goes too and we learn something very rich about ourselves. Under mask and mask and mask, that is where the heart truly lives.

    dark write appears as quite enlightening, take care

    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Again, a rumination on soulless poetry with no backbone? This "you" are the objects of your poetic cynicism methinks (I just had to use that word-- it's so damn quaint and funny lol)...

    I really don't like clowns, I never have. All that garish makeup and fake smiles... scare the crap out of me, honestly. I'd rather be confronted by an angry bear on steroids than a clown-- at least I know they're sincere in their emotions lol.

    Nice title, the play on "Cirque de Soleil" I mean... from the inspiring sun to the opposite-- the darkness that overwhelms, the apathy and sugary confections shoved into your mouth.

    To break free of unpolished fetters only to step into confusing metaphoric chains-- from literal to symbolic: what is the difference if there is no meaning behind it, right?

    The idea of DeSade having a mannequin is freaky. It'd have burn-holes and all sorts of nasty stuff done to it. Is this a statement about 'emo-type poetry' perhaps? The eternal whining?

    Maybe I'm reading too much into this? Beats me (but don't beat me-- I'm not a masochist)...


    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Hard to comment on because it appears that the “you” is someone private to you. The relationship and situations referenced are similarly unknown. As for the language, it is well chosen, simultaneously biting and rythmic, with a dash of alliteration. The title is clever, but again, gives no hint as to WHAT it is you’re referring to. Perhaps I’ve missed something obvious.
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]

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