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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: BIGdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kiddo13
    ASL Info:    28/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 70/61/22
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 839
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884



    Description:
       I wrote this 10 years ago... not sure why but it's still one of my favorites.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBIGdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you told me i had wings
    so i thought that i could fly
    but my feet were planted firmly to the ground
    so i'll walk around this town
    and i'll scream until i die
    and i'll never even make the slightest sound

    too late
    you came to my rescue
    too soon
    you saw me cry
    i'll never be this little girl
    and you'll always wonder why

    you told me i'd be BIG someday
    you said you'd be so proud
    now you stare and wonder
    why i laugh at you out loud

    i once believed in happiness
    and faith
    and love
    and joy
    and all the things you were made of
    but i've outgrown my toys

    i'll never be a BIG girl
    BIG girls never fly
    and when i think it over
    neither do i




    Submitted on 2006-10-11 12:33:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Aww I love this.
    It's so pretty. Made me kind of sad (I guess that's how you know it's good ).

    I disagree with the last commenter about the 3 lines. I think they fit well, especially, "so i'll walk around this town"
    That makes sense. "Walk" ...Cause you can't fly.

    I enjoyed this.

    Wonderfully done
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess the main part of this that really detracts from the rest is L4 L5 L6 of S1 These are weaker lines. They feel as if they were created just to rhyme with around and it sort of downward spiraled until the next stanza. Plus the silent scream is so cliché for a teenage piece which is probably since you wrote it when you were 17. over all I like it. those three line just don't fit. peace
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess the main part of this that really detracts from the rest is L4 L5 L6 of S1 These are weaker lines. They feel as if they were created just to rhyme with around and it sort of downward spiraled until the next stanza. Plus the silent scream is so cliché for a teenage piece which is probably since you wrote it when you were 17. over all I like it. those three line just don't fit. peace
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]


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