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    dots Submission Name: I Hear Youdots

    Author: kiddo13
    ASL Info:    28/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 70/61/22
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Rant/Venting
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1376

       It's no fun being second...
    especially to a bottle.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Hear Youdots

    Did you think I was deaf?
    That maybe I couldn't hear the sound emanating from your being?
    It's loud and clear.
    Too loud, in fact.

    I want you to stop saying that you love me with the same lips that daily caress a bottle.
    I know how much you love me.
    I can see it in the way you tip the bottle and touch it to your lips as though it alone were your supporting lifeline.

    For once I want to be swept away.
    I want to feel that wondrous tumult in the core of my belly.

    Couldn't you pull me close and hold my hand?
    Couldn't you try to stay sober?


    Instead you scream like an indignant child-
    Where's my bottle?
    Where's my bottle?
    Where's my bottle?

    Someday I'd like to know who you are beneath the alcohol.
    Then again, maybe not.
    I might get lost without the scorned, foul scent of your breath.
    What would I do then?

    But you bring home the bacon.
    What should I complain about?
    But that fat little pig can't fill the void that grows in my heart everyday.

    Someday maybe you'll understand.
    In the meantime,
    please don't think I'm deaf...
    ...I hear you loud and clear.

    Submitted on 2006-10-11 13:34:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I've read this before, but I can't remeber if I said aything or not. Been gone a while. This piece definately vents the anger repressed seems to surface. I liked the image of the indignant child screaming and also the way you acurately conveyed drunken people rambling loudly often two inches from your face.
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I can tell that this is a very heartfelt and strong poem about the horrible drug of the bottle in peoples lives I can imagine that it is so hard for you to see this person you love ( I am assuming that it is your father) not ever being the person you know that he is > The bottle can do so much to damage everything in someones life whether it be a good career, a precious and important relationship, and even a whole existance. I hope that you work out this situation with this person that you love and just remember if you keep showing them love, that love can break through any addiction.

    much LOVE
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      i cant say that i can relate, but i know what you mean about second place. and being afraid to see what's beneath. what if he's covering it up for a reason? all in all it was a good write and well structured, nothing sticking out or randomly placed. you stuck with it. keep on sticking.

    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]

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