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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Way Love Endsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Way Love Endsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i said i love him
    he never loved back
    what left in my heart
    except an old tack

    what now can i do
    to help me reveal
    the pain that he caused
    that i chose to seal

    its locked up inside
    i wont let it go
    i deserve this pain
    i cant let it show

    i wont let it ease
    i cant let it mend
    i'll give out my heart
    to no one again

    i can trust no one
    to help keep it safe
    the pain that he casued
    i cannot erase

    i will not forget
    the way that love ends
    i will not forget
    the words that he said

    he does not love me
    but i love him true
    and though hes not gone
    what should i do

    should i keep this up
    and stay here with him
    without him with me
    my world is dim




    Submitted on 2006-10-11 16:34:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      if this is writtren for a catharsis effect.. its cool and it def lets your emitions out on paper. this is the kind of writing that lets you sort this out.. but it has some gramaticla errors and some repetitions that dont really work well... if you want to do re-writes.. let me know and i will point them out, but if it is just to share.. then good luck with the boy!!
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't say I relate, but I do like the sorrow in your poem. It makes me forget mine. If he doesn't love you and you love him, then maybe you should just let him go. I for one do not know what I would do in a situation like that.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I believe that every girl has had this feeling. This is therefore very relatable. That is always a great quality. I like the wording and format. It made the piece really easy to read. The rhymimg helped as well. I can't find anything wrong with it. Keep writing!
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]


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