Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Way Love Endsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Way Love Endsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i said i love him
    he never loved back
    what left in my heart
    except an old tack

    what now can i do
    to help me reveal
    the pain that he caused
    that i chose to seal

    its locked up inside
    i wont let it go
    i deserve this pain
    i cant let it show

    i wont let it ease
    i cant let it mend
    i'll give out my heart
    to no one again

    i can trust no one
    to help keep it safe
    the pain that he casued
    i cannot erase

    i will not forget
    the way that love ends
    i will not forget
    the words that he said

    he does not love me
    but i love him true
    and though hes not gone
    what should i do

    should i keep this up
    and stay here with him
    without him with me
    my world is dim




    Submitted on 2006-10-11 16:34:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      if this is writtren for a catharsis effect.. its cool and it def lets your emitions out on paper. this is the kind of writing that lets you sort this out.. but it has some gramaticla errors and some repetitions that dont really work well... if you want to do re-writes.. let me know and i will point them out, but if it is just to share.. then good luck with the boy!!
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't say I relate, but I do like the sorrow in your poem. It makes me forget mine. If he doesn't love you and you love him, then maybe you should just let him go. I for one do not know what I would do in a situation like that.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I believe that every girl has had this feeling. This is therefore very relatable. That is always a great quality. I like the wording and format. It made the piece really easy to read. The rhymimg helped as well. I can't find anything wrong with it. Keep writing!
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    121284

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry