[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Way Love Endsdots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Way Love Endsdots

    i said i love him
    he never loved back
    what left in my heart
    except an old tack

    what now can i do
    to help me reveal
    the pain that he caused
    that i chose to seal

    its locked up inside
    i wont let it go
    i deserve this pain
    i cant let it show

    i wont let it ease
    i cant let it mend
    i'll give out my heart
    to no one again

    i can trust no one
    to help keep it safe
    the pain that he casued
    i cannot erase

    i will not forget
    the way that love ends
    i will not forget
    the words that he said

    he does not love me
    but i love him true
    and though hes not gone
    what should i do

    should i keep this up
    and stay here with him
    without him with me
    my world is dim

    Submitted on 2006-10-11 16:34:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      if this is writtren for a catharsis effect.. its cool and it def lets your emitions out on paper. this is the kind of writing that lets you sort this out.. but it has some gramaticla errors and some repetitions that dont really work well... if you want to do re-writes.. let me know and i will point them out, but if it is just to share.. then good luck with the boy!!
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't say I relate, but I do like the sorrow in your poem. It makes me forget mine. If he doesn't love you and you love him, then maybe you should just let him go. I for one do not know what I would do in a situation like that.
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I believe that every girl has had this feeling. This is therefore very relatable. That is always a great quality. I like the wording and format. It made the piece really easy to read. The rhymimg helped as well. I can't find anything wrong with it. Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Outlaw
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]