okay well cole you know i luv your shyt right? k, but you should also know i don't like kissing a$$ and this wasn't bad, but i didn't love it as much as your other 2 commenters did. it was by all means an okay write. but i've seen you do so much better, one thing i did notice though is that you had a lot more passion in this write than you did in some of your other ones, or maybe just than i picked up on in your other ones, but i liked that aspect of it a lot because it's always great when you have a strong voice and you put some interesting ones out there. (ask if you must...but you may not be chill with the answer.) good but could be better. fave part== "Will they believe your false truth But of course they will Angels canít fathom lies" -first of all it showed thought before doing something- will it work? is it worth it? are the consequences outweighing the benefit? and secondly, in my mind more importantly too, was that when you say *angels can't fathom lies* it makes me think that you put a lot of good feelings into thoughts about the people you/the character were lying too. and that you don't see yourself that way.....something like, you're lying and angels wouldn't even consider the idea, you know you "couldn't" be like them. it could be bitter if i were reading it on another day but it was sadly beautiful today. keep writing cole, your words say more than you know. ~jess~
This is an amazig write. It is so true and written so honestly. Brilliant! I love that repeating line "now lets see what happens next". It just grabs you by the collar and maked you read even more intently then you were.
The wording was flawless. The structure was powerful and the content was imaculate. Not to mention the truth was blatanly put out with the story of a lie that it just gripped me. I don't if it says something about me or not but it was indeed a very strong piece.
This definitely goes into the favorite list. A very well thought out poem. The texture is dark enough to impose a sense of fear and loathing. Yet there is the light mellow use of words which makes it simple and an easy read. Over all giving it qualities that are of very high standards.
Goth THIS IS FANTASTIC This write is incredibly well done and you wrote this very cleverly I have never seen someone examine a white lie so well You worded this perfect This is easily a new favorite FANTASTIC JOB One of the best worded writes I have read God Bless Ron Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron