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    dots Submission Name: A dream in my stridedots

    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 500

       Waiting for someone to reply but she keeps ignoring me..and i am sad about it.
    5-4-5-4 lines poem standard

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA dream in my stridedots

    Walk alone in a crowd,
    sorrow within a smile,
    help cries out for help,
    endlessness in a while.

    Human am I in all,
    ask do I myself.
    Love me my dream, why?
    a heart to dwell.

    Said have I nothing more,
    nothing have I said?
    Silence that's all to say,
    wait till times dead.

    Wish in all for you,
    dreams never come true.
    A dream in my stride,
    say I love you.

    Submitted on 2006-10-12 05:30:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ok a little more description of this girl you seems obsessed with but still too short and still lacking good description. you are ok writer but you need to definitely improve more on your feeling behind your poems. time to read more.....
    | Posted on 2007-04-30 00:00:00 | by chaos_flame | [ Reply to This ]
      The second stanza is my favorite, it has a interesting semi choppy rythem...that's what hooked me... good job
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by suthwalterman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, it has a pretty flow. I hope she responds soon.
    Frann. x
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by Effee | [ Reply to This ]

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