Why would the second to last line be capitalized? It's finishing a thought... All the other lines are complete thoughts, and the second to last thought is carried over from the third to last line...
I love how you mention all the imperfections as well as the attractive features- some in the same line as the other! Very impressive. It really is love, a form of love, at least, if you are that attentive to the little things about her like that.
This was very well done. I do believe I love your writings. ~Syn
Sorry I haven't gotten around to commenting this! I loved it in your journal, and I love it here. In fact, the Billy Idol sneer was just amazing description. And the end, so plaintive, after stalker-like attention to detail, hair sticking to clogs! That was by far The way it just painted the whole scenario bit by bit...this is definitely a favorite.
It was like a sneak emotional attack... with you letting us enjoy the scenery and the silence before leveling us with an intense yet simply shread of thought.
I think that "her" works well because it is so basic that it can be molded to a thousand other thoughts.
And really, we don't understand the ultimate reason behind the "why's" of love... and I don't think we can ever completely give it a solid form unless we actually count the ways (which I doubt we can) or just surrender to the notion that you love someone because you just do.
That is why I think that the maturity of this piece gives it a rendering beauty. It respects the distance of rational voices in love while illustrating the writer's surrender reader-empowering way.
Wow...I really love this. Automatically I thought love when I read it because if one can notice a girl's feature that intricately, than it has to be love lol. The whole thing just soared gracefully through my tongue when I read it so it's awesome.
My favorite similes were: "Her upper lip curls like a stroke patient "
That made me smile...just wow, totally clever.
Though the context of this poem seems to depict her as monstrous at first, it still sent something warm inside of me to think about... It's almost like she flirts with your observation when you describe the curls!..I love it. This is going in my favs...I'm deeply impressed...