Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Think Tankdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pprophet
    ASL Info:    19/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 91/12/9
    Words: 245
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1174
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1601



    Description:
       It's obviously lyrics to a song I decided against ever completing. It's more poetic anyways, I'd rather get feed on that aspect.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThink Tankdots
    -------------------------------------------


    every step forward, I'm losing my mind
    trying to show my worth, but i'm confusing the blind...
    It's the same old me, but I'm new in this time.....
    Never live up to potential, but I'm like this times two in my prime...
    this is just time for my think tank
    no longer confined to the shrink tape...
    ^Hook/Chorus..


    helllo, goodbye, with the shake of a hand
    relationships, don't know what it takes as a man
    Every turn is wrong, head on to another catastrophe
    generated mistakes, not all in a black hat an tee
    Not every song I sing, is that of despair
    just understand the circumstances, this is fair
    I've already gone crazy, and done came back
    lost and found my mind, I should come claim that
    but back to reality, after insane called
    a suicide solution, just to make the pain halt
    take every dirty look, with a grain of salt

    Patronizing glances, from the outskirts of town
    a little paranoia, just tired of being jerked around
    I'm Self aware; so I'm only vain the mirror
    I don't hold myself back, I blame it on the pain and the fears
    a differant sad song, but I'm cryin the same tears
    I've always hated where I've been, since I came here
    note to myself, listen to your instincts plain an clear
    tired of this, and it being my bottle of pills
    i'm all choked up, I swallowed my fill




    Submitted on 2006-10-12 21:27:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      so this was honestly the only piece i could understand by you. you have a great vocabulary, far too advanced for me to comprehend.. perhaps that is why i have a hard time grasping your other works. but as i read this i cannot help but think of someone so sick of life and what they have surrounded themselves by that they can't escape their own thoughts anymore. someone who wants to start over but doesn't know how and instead of finding that they start a new beginning the wrong way. i don't know...just my thoughts, but i like this piece it reminds me of my brother so much, he is a schizophrenic and lives like this very often. so thanks for sharing this :)

    jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    121395

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry