Lost youth of my love
Light a candle, say a prayer
As I weep above
Lifeless innocents laying there
Once vibrant full and free
Died for his love
How he longed to hold thee
Lost youth of my love
Weakened in the days of last
For when he stared at his white dove
Sentimental thought flooded in from the past
And drowned the poor lad,
Swept his body to the sand
And I knew it was me from the scars he had
So as he laid dying I held his hand.
| I almost find it insincere to tell you the truth, it was the words you used that made it seem so. All the imagery has been done before (but this is coming from the guy whose latest poem is called Insomnia), I dunno. Keep it up. Strike Gold. ||| Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by NoMartyr | [ Reply to This ] || Very good. I love the words and how they come together. I hope you like mine. Comment and be truthfull. Other than that, it is a sad poem. 10 across the board ^_^||| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Dark Divinity | [ Reply to This ] || very awsome... its cool how you mixed the words up, love & youth... totaly cool|
i cant really relate to this poem but i think it's really good
|| Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ] || This was amazingly touching and creative. A poem, from my percepective, written from the eyes of the lost soul, who is looking at their own body, wait maybe not. Maybe looking at the soul of a child. I'm not sure, but I do like it. I like things that confuse me, makes it more mysterious, I will definetly think about this one. |
great job, thumbs up/
|| Posted on 2006-11-15 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ] || Hey James! I enjoyed reading this poem, but one thing really ruined it for me... the fact that you used the title as the opening line. I usually do not like it and i felt it didn't fit in the beginning very well in this case. Besides that, I thought this was well-worded and written, along with it having a strong message. Enjoyed reading, and thanks for sharing|
|| Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ] || i think the last lines got me the most. it was really intense. very emotional for the reader. i loved it. love ya!|
|| Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by shayla8911 | [ Reply to This ] || I loved this one very much. I don't want to sound like a copy cat, but what Caotic said is basically what I thought of it also. I have to tell you, I really liked the vocabulary usage, and I always like the little repetition thing you have in your poems. Good work. |
|| Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ] || I hope its alright with you, but I'm just going to write what this means to me.|
To me, this is speaking of a person who didn't cherish their youth and only realized when they were older, all the precious momnets and occasions that they had missed out on.
Or maybe they experienced their youth, but in a bad way, like through drugs and stuff.
I don't know. Just some thoughts.
|| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ] || this ones very nice, i enjoyed it. i like the wording its complex and takes thinking. very nice. kudos.|
|| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Max R. | [ Reply to This ] || This. Is a bloody good one. |
I don't often say it's one of my favourite reads, but it is. Hm... reminds me of lots of things. Reminds me kind of my friend, he can't get over this girl he liked...
But, good write. I'm gonna add it to my favourites.
-- Jason Clement
|| Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ] || This one I really like James|
This is one the best writes I have read from you
I for one will never ever lose the Inner child in me though I know he is always trying to flee from my Mind
My childhood was the best and the worst of times James
But the good memories of family and Friends that were there will last a lifetime
Excellent Job James
I really loved the trip down memory lane this write took me on
If you get a chance James I recently added 2 new writes I am very proud of Can you Please let me know what you think as I trust your opinion
|| Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] |