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Some Role Model....


Author: PiperH
ASL Info:    17, F, Georgia
Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 253 /299 /172
Words: 141
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 775
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 962



Description:


I don't know what to think of this anymore. It's definitely not my best work but it means something to me. So I didn't delete it.
Tell me what you think. :)


Some Role Model....



Wise beyond her years
Mrs. Independent, she was

smart and beautiful
always knew the right thing to say

her heart always had room
and it was always open

your eyes are passageways
to all your secrets

she had secrets
but she couldn't be read

different, she was
hidden form the world

pain spread throughout her body
fear flooded her mind

she faded away before us
she was supposed to be here forever

life is complicated
we are complicated

she had it in her
to be anything she desired

but she gave up to easily
she let pain get the best of her

the big sister
the strong one, always ready for anything, failed

what does that say about me?
if she couldn't do it, how can I?





Submitted on 2006-10-13 23:27:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is a strong and very powerful write
It truly is sad when a family member suffers from depression or some other illness and we see that our whol=e life and when she cant overcome it we are always left wondering how we can overcome sadness if one of the strongest people in our life couldnt
You always have a way with your words of speaking truthfully and showing a true Honest Heart
That is one of the things I like so much in reading your writes
Please dont ever change
The World dosent have enough People who truly care about their fellow Human Being!!!
God Bless
Ron
I have recently added 2 new writes to my page if you get a chance can you Please let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  In my mind, what I'm pictureing, and tihs is probably 100% off the line of focus you had for this poem, but here it goes.
I see a woman that is gorgeous. She is like one of those people who other folks look up to, no matter what age they are. Kind, gentle and caring. But yet, she has secrets, and I'm seeing her big secret being drugs. But I gues it could also be like an eating disorder or something too. And I see others tihnking she is perfectly healthy, happy and fine, but inside she is dying, not only from drugs but from emotional stress that she puts on herself. Then, I see her dying, and everyone is so shocked because she was always the leader and like the best, so then they thought that there was no way they would be able to survive if she couldn't.
Awesome job, but I dont like the title if my guess of what it is about is right. Awesine
~Caotic~
| Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
  fear flooded her mind: I love that line. This is great. It is actually kind of hard to just choose one favorite line. Keep it up.

Thanks for listening,

Angel
| Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by chelseagirl077 | [ Reply to This ]


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