Angel

Author: Fran Maguire Elite Ratio:    1.82 - 1 /4 /5 Words: 99

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 727 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 673

Description:

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Angel

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Shallow liaisons do not stem, The screaming pain of an empty soul. Stifling heart and solemn calm Stiffen, this ever,...painful stroll Sombre moods and sorrowful yearning, Of simple times when seventeen A score and ten of silent dreaming Seduced by a separate life unseen Stoic future without one loved A time that will never be left behind An angel’s name indelibly scribed Upon the stone of stringent mind And surely when I spend my final hours I know that I shall remember what was once ours © Fran Maguire 2006

Submitted on 2006-10-15 02:26:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I thought this was very good. The flow and rhyme is first rate and the theme is just right for the words you used. Frank.

| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

There's a lot of potential here and the poem starts off nicely.I like the first two stanzas,especially the second one.You use interesting rhymes and language.What happened in the third verse? The third line seems not to fit at all (unless I'm reading it wrongly).I'm not really a big fan of changing the style and adding just two lines at the end instead of a full stanza either,but here it works well.Interesting piece,which was enjoyable to read. A.C

| Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

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