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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Stew of Sleepy Nonsensedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1376
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 439



    Description:
       The last line merely refers to merging dissimilar things.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Stew of Sleepy Nonsensedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Today my thoughts are suicidal
    surrendering their lives long before fruition.
    I think in sentences
    that die before they're spoken
    by my mind's voice.
    Images, sounds, sensations materialize
    with no borders
    and blend into a stew of sleepy nonsense
    that I rummage through
    in hopes of finding something worthwhile
    even if it's like gluing a domino to a kiss.




    Submitted on 2006-10-15 03:50:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i love the last line...dominoes fall over...my thoughts fall over before i can think them....through to sentences...i am one big fragment...looking for a paragraph to save my life...

    glued to a kiss ...that might hold them up or i can kiss them goodbye...either way...it fits...and is a smile...

    love the figurative language you use.

    unlike lots of poems read which bring up metaphors in a slew..but don't carry them past one line...you take a metaphor and sustain it so nicely from beginning to end.


    jacob

    | Posted on 2011-04-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      it's funny, cause "my thoughts are suicidal" makes one think that you're contemplating suicide, yet taken literally it has a completely different meaning, as you've displayed here. Your actual thoughts are killing themselves before you get a chance to speak or act on them, or really even recognize them, thus a continuous string of partial thoughts totaling up to apparent nonsense. Very clever. The title screams for the poem to be read...

    that last line...I'm not sure if you couldn't come up with something all at once nonsensical and yet meaningful on a kinda covert level. then again, maybe you have.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey sweetie,
    Sorry it took me soooo long to get to this! :( Bad friend.

    hehe

    I know you don't mind. Okay, now onto your piece.
    I like the comparing of your thoughts to suicide for some reason. It just makes me think that what ever you are thinking you do not want to think. You want to cut everything out of your mind and feel peace again. Sort of like meditation I guess. Even the ending line, "like gluing a domino to a kiss" is intriguing because often you just want to be or do something other than you are supposed to. You want to be random and break out from the norm.
    That's what I got from this piece anyway.
    Good job sis!
    Lots of hugs and love! <3

    Bethany
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah! I know these days all too well... and how they seem to abound as of late! When every idea dies before it can turn into something, and you can't find a muse anywhere. Yes... I know these days all too well.

    And, I liked this; a lot. Clever, as always. However (and this strikes me as odd, coming from you), I think you should add the necessary puncuation to this. It can stand with out it, but I think it would strengthen the poem if it were present. However... in running theme of "a stew of sleepy nonsense," it makes sense that it sort of bleeds together in the absence of punctuation.

    Anyway, I liked it!

    Justin
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      You've cooked up a wonderful piece here...

    I love how you string, sometimes unlikely, words together and make them come out beautifully!

    Got to love it!
    | Posted on 2006-10-23 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      first of all, i love the title "A Stew of Sleepy Nonesense." that's just a great image.
    this is pretty much the way i've been feeling lately about my writing.. just a jumble of words that i search through in order to try and make some sense of them. the last line is great, as we sometimes just glue words together, hoping for something that can be understood.

    you often have such quirky images in your work, unlike anyone i've ever read before. and that is a beautiful thing, just like you!

    love&hugs,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-10-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Amy,

    I like the subtle way you've hidden your meaning in this. You have to be paying attention or you'll miss it.

    today
    my thoughts are suicidal
    surrendering their lives long before fruition
    I think in sentences
    that die before they're spoken
    by my mind's voice
    images, sounds, sensations materialize
    with no borders
    and blend into a stew of sleepy nonsense
    that I rummage through
    in hopes of finding something worthwhile
    even if it's like gluing a domino to a kiss


    What that first line does is immediately draw me into the poem.
    I like "stew of sleepy nonsense" it's really funny.
    Also, "gluing a domino to a kiss" is a bright image too.

    I'm always happy to read something new, Amy. This is nice!

    Nan


    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the opening of this since it describes my mind on way too many days. Your descriptions and metaphores all the way through are strong and produce a smile of affermation from me as i read.
    The domino and kiss may not be the best comparrison. While they are unique, they also need a footnote or they're just taken as nonsense (which works here too).

    Sending this to faves.

    jan
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the lack of punctuation - it works with the whole 'stew of sleepy nonsense' theme, enhancing the image of whimsical, bleary chaos.

    The 3rd line, if I'd written this (and I wish I had!), I would've broken up: surrendering their lives/long before fruition. But that's just me, and it's fine the way it is.

    As usual, fantastic job!
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the simplicity, or the bluntness rather, that you gave to this write. To be honest when I read the word 'suicidal' I thought "oh no not another suicide related rant," but I see now this isn't what this poem's about. I can relate to the ideas you described about words coming in and out of your mind before you can do anything with them.
    I liked the sudden ending using the unlike ideas together (domino and kiss).
    I seemed to stumble over the third line so I think maybe that could be worded better.
    Also, the fourth, fifth, and sixth lines seem to link as one sentance, however, for me the line breaks were distracting. Maybe punctuation could be used there and throughout the poem to ease the flow a little.
    I enjoyed the read very much, it is an impressive write indeed.
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]


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