HHmm, If i didn't know any better, i'd say this is what love is all about. these words especially highlighted my thoughts:
hours of madness
to correct our mess
of disfunction and failure
it's all I ever was
it's all I ever saw in you
it is what makes this so beautifull
two sticks forever lieing amongst the rubble
I pictured me and my b/f....We have so many hours on our hands and all we can do is argue over things we don't need to argue and do things we don't really mean on doing but at the end of this entire relationship, it looks so wonderful even sometimes perfect because you can feel that this is how destiny works and how faith tests you.
I really don't know if i got your message right but i liked the interpretation that i got from it. Please highlight me if i got it wrong.
Other than that, i absolutely loved your format...the format blew me away...
First let me say that I completely love this format, with the every other line and the --- breaks. It makes the reader slow down and almost pause to deliberate what they're actually reading.
a friendly slap to your face
to make you feel
less like the person you were
when you inflicted the disgrace
to put you back in your place—
this is by far my favorite part of this piece. It fits so well together it's like these words were destined to be together. I love the idea of disgrace being the chain reaction of the slap and being put in your place, but listing it in a different order...in doing that, simple words and short sentences become much much stronger.
anyway, so pretty much I just wanted to say you did a really nice job on this, especially in the formatting. nice job N.K
i agree with never known, the way this is set out gives makes this an easy read. i like this, it's not quite what i expected from your description, but it's different, and that is always a good thing. whirl**
Submission Name: stick figures
