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    dots Submission Name: Change of heart IIdots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 772
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 872


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    dotsChange of heart IIdots

    You can have the winds of October
    And stardust of unruly skies
    The trumpets of warlords and echoes
    As mercy within you dies

    Trembling oceans of silence
    Restless in questing for peace
    How do you cross them in vengance
    Spilling the blood for release

    Tired of being a martyr
    Nightmare of breathing and dreaming
    Notch in an overfilled snake den
    Living of bleeding and screaming

    There is a flaw in corrosion
    Through reigns of benevolent mind
    Far from being a vulture
    Far from being as kind

    You are a darkling reforged
    Your heart is a new order
    Pagan and hardened of pain
    Never to witness a border

    But the agony is a survivor

    Submitted on 2006-10-15 06:22:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      OH! OH! I know what this is about!

    It's about another ickle broken heart, isn't it! Crack, splat, badump-thump goes the organ against the cold brick wall!

    Person S(ubject) is being a cold-hearted brute and Person Y(ou) is being all teary-eyed.

    I suppose.

    Yours Truly,
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed reading this poem, also thought it was a bit abstract. i see you come from kroatia, maybe it,s about your thoughts, feelings about war ? bogeyman
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]
      Another worthy piece.Liked the first verse except the last line didn't quite seem to fit in the sense that you have to change the pronounciation of <within> to match the flow.The middle three stanzas are excellent.roll off the tongue very nicely.Not sure why adding an extra line at the end is necessary.Seems to be quite popular with a few poets on here.Am I missing something?! All in all a good read.No idea what it's about though! Perhaps it's just abstract.
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

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