Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Elevator to Eternitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1876



    Description:
       Isn't it amazing what it can take to make us realize that someone means much more to us than a simple friend.

    PS Elevator to Eternity has a double meaning


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsElevator to Eternitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    It was the elevator to eternity
    Every agonizing second an hour, a month, a year of time
    The floors displayed in angry, glaring red numbers
    Above the doors that held me prisoner
    1
    Screeching brakes and slamming metal
    2
    Wailing sirens and frantic paramedics
    3
    A heart-wrenching message in a flat, toneless voice
    “Trevor was in an accident.”
    Trevor…Trevor…Trevor…

    Then – finally –
    The doors slid silently open
    And I rushed to your side

    The hospital room was stark, bare
    But for the quick flashes
    Of the TV on the wall
    But I barely noticed
    As the breath caught in my throat
    And tears pooled in my eyes

    For there you lay

    But it wasn’t you…
    It wasn’t my energetic best friend
    Crazy and larger-than-life

    You were deathly still
    A wiry tangle of tubes in each arm
    Leg wrapped tight with bandages
    And bound in a hateful black brace
    And those wonderful warm
    Teasing brown eyes
    Hidden beneath eyelids
    Clenched tight with unconscious pain
    The only indication of life
    The steady
    Beep
    Beep
    Beep
    Of the cold, unfeeling monitors

    I slowly sank into a chair beside you
    Leaned over quietly and
    Softly brushed the hair from your pale face
    Reached down
    And held your limp hand in mine

    Your eyes fluttered open

    And in that moment…


    I loved you




    Submitted on 2006-10-15 12:59:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, when someone's death approaches--a close friend in this case-- it puts things in perspective. It's almost tragic what it takes for someone to tell someone else how they truly feel. I sort of feel like I'd have to be on my deathbed to say this sort of thing as well... in regards to someone I've known for what seems eternity... and more.

    This is touching and bittersweet... and I hope he makes it through alright.

    Peace,

    Jase

    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    121642

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Summer written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry