Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forbiddendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mimi
    ASL Info:    30/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597/390/111
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1283
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 404



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForbiddendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Trapped as my energy is sapped
    my knees fail to stand the
    onslaught of your touch.
    Tormented and demented
    led by my carnal needs
    to feed upon the veins
    engorged by your desire,
    to feed the fires
    and bind you to me.
    I keep you hidden
    in my dreams
    and in the hours before dawn
    I lie naked upon the lawn and wait.




    Submitted on 2006-10-16 12:44:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      nice poem. why forbidden though?
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by einjun | [ Reply to This ]
      Omg, this poem defines one of my old stalker ex-girlfriends, except she perferred the bushes rather than the lawn. (No offense if this is write is from personal experience)

    Overall, Good write about a forbidden yet demented love.

    Certainly brought back the memories and inspires me with some writing material.

    If you like poems with little twists, check out mine, "Young Living to Die"
    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by bmorecmore | [ Reply to This ]
      I did not expect the ending but I liked it. This was a poem that made you think how sexy was that? Anyway great poem!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm this is def. different but quite intriguing. It makes me wonder like who will relate and all the different circumstances this position could be placed. nice write, it sure caught my eye
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by Starry Eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. kind of odd but i like it. its really good. i've written like this. its strnge but i think some people will be able to relate to it. keep up the awesome work. it sounds like when you wrote "i lie naked upon the lawn and wait" that you are making yourself vulnerable for whomever it is that you are waiting for. keep up the awesome work. i really hope to read more by you soon.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    121760

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry