Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Numb Inside


Author: Katana Ryoko
ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483 /428 /109
Words: 84
Class/Type: Poetry /I am dead inside
Total Views: 874
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 534



Description:




Numb Inside



I sit here and read
The emotions of another
And slowly come to realize
That I am numb inside

My mind has wandered
My body got up and left
They're split apart now
With no hope of reuniting

I gave my heart to a guy
He left with no good-bye
I probably won't get it back
Still beating and intact

I've lost my soul to suicide
It now resides in hell
To dine with the devil
Under the bleeding sun




Submitted on 2006-10-16 12:53:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I get the same thing when reading others poetry I just seem to drift at times and feel no emotion towards most of it. "Havign seen everything i feel nothing"
| Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by ShadowedAngel | [ Reply to This ]
  i know the pain of losing a love.......some one that seemingly captured everything within you.....she didnt commit suicide but even as she breaths to this day i still feel i saw her die....or at least what i thought was her......on another point i liked it very much......even though i felt "and" was not necessary in certain areas or could have been replaced with maybe a simple "I"......but over all it struck me thanks katana
| Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by ropedpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  *cracks knuckles* Hopefully a useful commentary!

Reading the emotions of another? A diary? A journal? Perhaps these other emotions have unconsciously mingled with the ones of the reader, and made her feel numb..
People often use mind and body splitting to symbolise sleeping..there's this old legend that says when you sleep your soul leaves your body and returns when you awaken. So in this case your mind leaves? Maybe a surgery? Out of body experience? A permanent one, since there is no hope of reuniting.
Not only has the mind and body split, but a heart has been ripped out too..what a baad boy. I'm just wondering where the soul went.
Ah yes, in the fourth stanza. Yay the soul is here.
It's been lost to suicide? The girl has committed suicide? And is now in hell? (perhaps that's too literal)
I like your imagery. Hope this girl can get her heart back when she gets her prince ;)
Cheers and thanks for an enjoyable read!
Azuire
| Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this because 2 months ago my boyfreind of three years commited with no goodbye and only a note that said he was sorry and that we were his life but so was his family and that he had to be with his little brother and father i heaven. and this is exactly how i felt ad i think you captured the pain and feeling of being lost so well. its really gtreat peice LOVE IT.

xx
Chanyn
| Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by Shark06 | [ Reply to This ]
  Amazing truely a beautiful piece. It was short and interesting. Sad and depressing but if your like me when things such as this happen writing is the only form of therapy. (for me anyways) I can't completly relate to this because I am ina current relationship and have never had anyone brake me heart.

I wish you all the best and I hope one day you will find that special someone who treats you like a princess.
| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
  i can totally relate to this right now. i hope you feel better because i know this feeling sucks. i like how you wrote this. it flows well. i hope you keep writing because i really do want to read more by you soon. keep up the awesome work. writing helps release the emotions. i hope things get better. i would tell you that they will and that someone else will come but if i told you that, then that would mean that i would have to believe it as true for both you and i. i can't tell you that it gets betterr because for me i dont think it will. so i do relate. dont think you are the only one. suicide is not the answer but everyone says thaat so how am i to tell you. it is your choice. everything that happens is your choice. keep trying. i hope you feel better.

love
tina
| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
  I actually like this. I don't write poetry about this kind of stuff usually, so I found it interesting. I like how it is worded and stuff. It was kind of easy for me anyway, to guess that it was about a guy who had commited suicide and left a girl behind, or a loved one as in a sister, that could work too. The first stanza was my favourite. I think that most peopl could probably relate to it, bcause when you see those people walking down the street that are like totally opposite from you, you realize the part of you that is missing. I'm probably a little off but that's what I tihnk. Good poem and I hope you continue to write.
~Caotic~
| Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



121761