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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I wishdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 919
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509



    Description:
       slipping back into an old style of writing not the best i think but i like it still anyway


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI wishdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish I could tell
    You how I hurt
    How deep within
    These walls
    Lays a child filled
    With fright

    I wish I could show you
    The scars deep within
    The pools of blood from
    Wounds reopened and
    The fright of this lonely girl
    That cries her lonesome tears

    I wish I could show you
    An angelís face
    But this childís face
    Cannot be seen
    In this darkness
    That holds her tight




    Submitted on 2006-10-16 13:18:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this! I wish I could shed some light on this unfortunate child. omg, I didn't even realize I used the phrase "I wish", ironic. Although I feel really bad for the child, I really admire the person wanting to help the child but seems unable to. Those people are rare.

    -angel-

    ps: It's a good thing there are people like you.
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so sad
    I know exactly of the pain you are describing as I myself was this same child for a very VERY long time
    You worded this well and this is definately packed with true and honest emotion
    If this is how you felt as a child know Im truly Sorry
    But like in my Life if this is about you you have proven with time the pain subsides and a new Positive outlook guides your Soul to Happiness
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hi it was nice hearing from you its been along time i havent been writing to much either i like your thought i wish maybe read the one i wrote
    once again thanx for the comment
    and take care

    hope all is well

    sandman
    | Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Great work. I think the piece conveys a multitude of pains, all wrapped into one short poem. It can be interpreted in many ways, and shows that your work has a great versatility.

    I like it. Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Very stark, moving and compelling. Another gem from you portraying the innocence and pain of a lonely child.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


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