Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Surrender


Author: DrunkOnShadows
ASL Info:    16/F/Ont
Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 66 /84 /49
Words: 267
Class/Type: Prose /Love
Total Views: 968
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1531



Description:


Just something I wrote to express my feelings and release some stress today in MSIP class today. Celeste Dignard's my pen name, by the way.


I Surrender



I'm done with this. Can't you see the stress is killing me? Breaking me down, until soon there vwill be nothing left but movements to go through each day? You're all that I am, all that I breath, sleep, dream, think about. You're all that I want, and you can't seem to notice that? How can you not notice that...? You are my secret keeper, the one I confide everything in, even my deepest, darkest secret that torments me every waking moments of my life. I'm done with it. Done with the trivial relationships of school children, because I know they're too naive to even begin to fathom how much I love you. I'm waving the white flag, as a signal of surrender of myself; body, soul, mind and heart. I don't care if I have to share you, just please, take me, I'm throwing myself at your feet, pleading and weeping, shedding desperate salty tears. And if you don't except? Whatever makes you happy, darling. But know that you've destroyed my last hope for happiness. I cannot live without you, and losing you would mean the death of me. Don't try to stop me. It's better this way. You at least care a little bit, right? You might as well let me take my own life than let the heartbreak kill me. So, my love, I surrender and give myself to you. Know that I'll always love you. You're my night sky. And if you deny me this, please never forget me when I take my life and I'm gone forever.

Your's Absolutely,
Celeste Dignard




Submitted on 2006-10-16 16:16:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  ahh this is a little closer to my style of writing! i enjoyed it only i would suggest looking out for a few small spelling errors and looking into using commas too much. some places where you have commas a semi-colon is better suited.

"You are my secret keeper, the one I confide everything in, even my deepest, darkest secret that torments me every waking moments of my life."

favorite sentence out of your piece. good job again.
| Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by Nero_s Decay | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



121779