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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Those Remembereddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 922
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 566



    Description:
       If you had suggestions please let me know this poem is still a work in progress


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThose Remembereddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I did not stop for death.
    It stopped for me.
    The sun went down,
    A carriage door was held open,
    I wanted to scream,
    but could not speak.
    This is the day I will die.

    You never know how amazing life is,
    Until it drifts out between your fingers,
    Until you are dying slowly,
    struggling to survive.


    My tears turn to blood,
    that trickles down each cheek.
    I will remember all those I love,
    as I travel the road to eternity.






    Submitted on 2006-10-16 18:25:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ello,

    The first reminds me of a poem I read in English class, but other then that its pretty cool.

    | Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Those Remembered
    -------------------------------------------

    I did not stop for death.
    It stopped for me.
    The sun went down,
    A carriage door was held open,
    I wanted to scream,
    but could not speak.
    This is the day I will die.

    You never know how amazing life is,
    Until it drifts out between your fingers,
    Until you are dying slowly,
    struggling to survive.


    My tears turn to blood,
    that trickles down each cheek.
    I will remember all those I love,
    as I travel the road to eternity.


    ***I just kinda switched some lines around and added a couple of things here and there. I liked the idea, just the rhyme didn't work with the content and keeping the scheme just made it seem forced and a little bland. Hope this helps.***




    | Posted on 2006-10-18 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
      Because I would not stop for death,
    It kindly stopped for me...

    Emily Dickenson reference, that is.
    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]


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