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untitled


Author: Avril54
Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 163 /206 /34
Words: 24
Class/Type: Haiku /Misc
Total Views: 1213
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 174



Description:




untitled



I can't stop the world from raining

(good, it's their problem)

I just to open MY umbrella!




Submitted on 2006-10-17 18:06:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Are you absotively posilutely sure this is a haiku?
If it is, check your syllables please.
If it isn't, then you have an error on the last line, it should be "I just have to open MY umbrella" or "I just open MY umbrella" instead of "just to open", that doesn't make sense.
Otherwise, keep trying on your minimalist poetry. Perhaps make it a tad less..obvious?
Cheers
Azuire
| Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
  Are you sure this is a haiku?
| Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Itzu | [ Reply to This ]


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