I can't stop the world from raining
(good, it's their problem)
I just to open MY umbrella!
| Are you absotively posilutely sure this is a haiku?|
If it is, check your syllables please.
If it isn't, then you have an error on the last line, it should be "I just have to open MY umbrella" or "I just open MY umbrella" instead of "just to open", that doesn't make sense.
Otherwise, keep trying on your minimalist poetry. Perhaps make it a tad less..obvious?
|| Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ] || Are you sure this is a haiku?||| Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Itzu | [ Reply to This ] |