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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Avril54
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 163/206/34
    Words: 24
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 174



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't stop the world from raining

    (good, it's their problem)

    I just to open MY umbrella!




    Submitted on 2006-10-17 18:06:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Are you absotively posilutely sure this is a haiku?
    If it is, check your syllables please.
    If it isn't, then you have an error on the last line, it should be "I just have to open MY umbrella" or "I just open MY umbrella" instead of "just to open", that doesn't make sense.
    Otherwise, keep trying on your minimalist poetry. Perhaps make it a tad less..obvious?
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you sure this is a haiku?
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Itzu | [ Reply to This ]


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