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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Honeycombe Dogdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freak_like_me
    ASL Info:    20/female/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 120/118/49
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 519



    Description:
       This will probably come across as quite sinister at parts which is what I done purposely of course, however, I see this little honeycombe beagle alot around where I live and i've been taken aback by how cute he is so I just had to write about him. I love animals especially dogs and this little critterbug just happened to strike my cutie radar :D


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHoneycombe Dogdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see him most days
    With that delightful little colour of his
    You're so coy I could just put you right inside a hot dog bap and eat you all up

    It's as simple as that

    Often I feel the urge
    To squeeze the little dog
    But not until his eyes pop out
    Because he's Honeycombe

    The body of a sausage
    And the head of we Jack
    Slightly englarged
    And you have the Honeycombe Beagle

    I wants to eats him




    Submitted on 2006-10-18 06:39:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a simple poem, and might even be referred to as shallow, but I'll stick to calling it light-hearted. I may not share this passion for animals, but that may be because I see them in terms of awe and not cute-ness, as you say. Since you haven't specified a commentary type, I'll give you some nitpicks.

    Line three, "You're". Line five, "It's". Line eleven, "wee". As for the last line, I'm not sure whether the grammatical error, "eats" is intentionally part of the slang language, or just a typo, so I'll bring your attention to that either way.

    I'm sorry if this comment was harsh, but I am positive you can improve it if you wanted to, by adding some more emotion. Although, then again, you may want it as a simple, light-hearted piece, which is what it definetly is.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-10-18 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]


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