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Spot Light SHow For No One

Author: S.A.M.
ASL Info:    26/f/xx
Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 476 /419 /138
Words: 102
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1497
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 649


have no clue where it came from. First 4 lines I was kinda thinkin' of my best friendwalkin' down the road with his guitar but it kinda took over from there. Enjoy please tell me what you think.

Spot Light SHow For No One

He walks that double yellow line
a rambler in the wind,
his music is his life
his guitar his only friend.
Fame was a masked murderer,
the spot light blinded his view.
never saw what he’d become,
never knew he’d lost it all.
fans would scream his name,
but no one really knew,
could they not see,
They stole from him
all he truly cared for.
Lost were the days
where music was all fun,
lost were his friends,
his love,
now that’s all he knows.
A rambler in the wind,
he walks that double yellow line.

Submitted on 2006-10-18 11:25:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I particulary didn't like this one. I think you were trying to fit a story idea into a short poem, and to me it sounds like you just through it together.

Don't get me wrong, you are good, and this is not a bad idea, but merely that's all it is to me, is a rough copy of an idea. Something like music is beautiful, and you wouldnt have to MAKE your poem outstanding to make it good, because anything about music is great. So theres a good thing to think about when you are revising this, or possibly making it into either a much longer poem, something with meaning, or a short story.

Great job though, I'm not putting you down or anything, neither this piece, but after reading 'graveyard sunrise' (I think it was called) I know you are capable of coming up with something much better than this, and then maybe, you'll see you can do even better than 'graveyard sunrise.'

Keep working on it, I know your a good writer, and that's why I'm not too fond of this one.

| Posted on 2007-05-31 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ] this one...prolly cause I can relate ;)
| Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by OrionsStorm | [ Reply to This ]
  man I can relate to that sometimes poeple don't realize why I am so "obsesed" with my guitar and my music , and they think that I am weird but I tell them that , you know , its just my life and its who I am its that simple :) but I love this peice and I believe that I will add this to one of my favorites.

much LOVE
| Posted on 2006-10-18 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]

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