Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: sicknessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shootingstar
    ASL Info:    22/f/hell
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 102/120/21
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1510
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 457



    Description:
       unfinished. I just rambled this off now. I'm really pissed so yeah.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssicknessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sifting through solitude
    Sick and shallow
    Fuck this place
    Seeing everyday pass
    Intangible

    Sedated and crumbled
    Means nothing but........maybe.
    The serated stars
    Bring calm to the storm.
    Emptiness decays in my stomach
    Filling lungs and heart
    with the loathing of living.

    Sickness of emotion
    Hating the unexplained
    Waiting,waiting........waiting




    Submitted on 2004-05-26 07:50:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. I would just leave that one word, but I shall write more. "Emptiness decays" oh my. Those two words alone are searing. I read the comment from free, and maybe you could end the piece powerfully, but the way you end it is representative of the decay in the piece. I love it. Very nicely done!!!
    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    12199

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry