Running away from her realities, she trips over a small pebble placed in the middle of the smooth, paved laneway that lay ahead. Her head falls heavily upon the unforgiving ground as pain fills her frail body with unwanted veracities. The hard impact causes small raindrops of black hatred to cloud her vision. The road ahead becomes blurry and her eyes close in defiance against the incoming waves of emotion.
This can't be happening. Her life, and her families life, had all been changed around because of her pains. This road, once simple track with a mixture of pebbles and dirt, had been paved for her convenience. The ramp, the elevator, even the mini van equipped with a special lever was all for her.
Why did she have to leave her safe haven? Walk across the threshold that she believed would encapsulate her old dreams, ambitions, life. How could she think like that? Giving herself false hopes was never in the contract she signed when she entered this world. Isn't life supposed to be a cruise on a foreign Caribbean Sea, with constant clear skies and a servant at hand to do whatever she asks? Shouldn’t she be able to do what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants?
A sudden monotone pitch escapes the lips that once gave encouragement to the team, her team. The team that had kept her sane through the many stabs that had been directed at her heart, and had stabled her as her once steady and fit legs, had collapsed in humiliation.
Now, what was left of her was a defective body that had been thrown into God's trashcan. A trash can that disposed of the realities of the past, present and future, leaving its victims with falsehoods. Her falsehood was her life, turned upside down in one terrible day, which she would relive for the rest of her life.
She was a fifteen-year-old, honour role student with her head above the clouds and a pyramid of friends to catch her when she fell. Cheerleading was her passion, along with gymnastics and boys. Boys had always made her feel careless and fluttered her heart when the whistles were directed at her.
Ever morning, she got up and admired herself in the bathroom mirror. Her body always amazed her, looking better and older with each passing day. Blonde flowing locks were always the admiration of the other girls, while the boys stood open-mouthed at her stunningly small waist and large chest. A Barbie doll was what she was, a Barbie doll with feelings and a brain.
School gossip always had her dating another boy, another one who thought her body was disposable and would go unharmed. She thought every boy would be different but they were all the same. Thinking all the rumours were true, they would ask her out on a date, always ending with a trip to their place to see if they could get into her pants.
Of course, she had paid attention in health class and knew that sex could lead to being pregnant which would lead to a painful labour. Nevertheless, how could she refuse when all the handsome guys were all over her and treating her as if she was somehow more special then the rest of the girls. She always made sure protection was used and that the guy wasn't infected with HIV or AIDS. She realized the futility of this, but it was always more comforting hearing her partner say the words aloud. Then she would let him get his thrills and take the plunge into her delicate body, only lasting a few minutes.
Each boy had been the same, go on a fantastic date, have sex, go home and her heart would be ripped to shreds the next day after her body had served its purpose. She would mope around for a few days, then her heart would be sewn together by a new hunk, and the cycle would begin again.
To her, it was the way life as a high school hot shot was supposed to be. She was popular, and it was not as if she was the only one in her school who went around sleeping with adoring boys. Her life was going the way she thought it should and that was just the way it was.
One day, she met a new boy at school, well not new, but not one who was a regular in her gossip book. He was the king of football. He was a grade older and a whole lot more experienced than herself according to rumour. He asked her out on a date to a nice, new restaurant called Luscious Lady. It was one of those spots where many men took their wives to relax for a peaceful night without the worries of kids or business.
She got ready to go, wearing a sexy black mini skirt and a matching, silk v-neck that showed off just enough to keep her date guessing. She smiled at the beautiful reflection showing off her voluptuous shape. Her hair lay down across the silken black top and her eyes sparkled with admiration for herself.
The night went as she expected it to. He held the door, pulled her seat out for her, and paid for the bill. They drove around the block and stopped at a charming red brick house. He pulled into the driveway, and he carried her through the door and onto the couch, where they made the most beautiful sex she had ever had.
The next day at school, she was prepared for the break up routine, a hear-it-through-the-grapevine kind of ending. She had her girls listening for any gossip about it, but none came. She was pleasantly shocked when he came up to her and put his arm around her tense shoulders.
Relax, he had said to her, and she had slowly lowered her shoulders and forced them to relax. His arm was surprisingly light on her fragile shoulders. She gave a pleasant smile as his thick, warm lips scraped hers, searching for a hint of passion hiding beneath the thicket of cells.
They walked around like this all day, happily embraced in each other’s arms. Occasionally, a long and passionate kiss would be exchanged between them, and other times their hands would be entwined together, with a sparkle of hope in her sparkling blue eyes that this might be the guy.
The next day was the same. So was the day after. She was actually beginning to fall for this guy. His kisses were luscious on his soft, but powerful lips, and his hugs were tender, but safe. His hand was always there when she fell, and his sweet smile always brightened up her once shadowed days. They had only had sex that first night, the rest of the time they had remained abstinent.
The only negative thing about him, was his friends. They constantly bothered her, and told him that he should leave her, because he was so involved in football. He always defended her, saying she was different since she was a cheerleader and an all around amazing person. His friends would still be on her case though, him reassuring her that everything would be okay.
Her life had transformed. Since she had a steady boyfriend, she no longer had boys whistling at her through the halls. Instead, they looked away when they saw her coming, knowing that her heart was taken and was not to be meddled with. She no longer relied on her friends for support, but was pleasantly surprised when it only took one man to keep her head upright.
One morning, she got up and she felt different. She wasn’t her usually cheery self, but in a depressed, sick-like mood. She was craving orange juice, which was strange because she rarely drank the stuff. Her stomach poured out into the toilet and was flushed away with the tap of a knob. She thought this was odd due to the fact that she didn't feel as if she had a cold or a fever. All day at school, she felt the same, occasionally missing the first few minutes of class because an emergency trip to the nearest restroom was required.
Her friends noticed the difference in her personality, her head slipping from the clouds. They knew her position with her boyfriend, and asked her if she had checked to see if she was pregnant. She said there was no way, couldn't be, impossible, but gave into their pleas to try a test.
On the way home from school, she had picked up a test, and was tentatively staring it down in the bathroom, preparing to take it. She followed the instructions, tensing up when she knew the answer to all her friends' questions would be answered in a matter of seconds.
A negative sign appeared. Relief flowed through her body. Her soul felt as if a huge weight had been taken off. She glanced down at the test again. Another line had appeared crossing over the pink line that had originally appeared. The weight was put back on her soul and she fell to the ground in horror.
She threw the dreaded test at the mirror image of herself. When the mirror failed to shatter, she picked up an old blue and white electric toothbrush at her reflection. Shattered glass covered the floor, as she glanced down at the now broken image of herself. Broken, that's how she felt inside. Maybe she would clean that up later.
She knew she had to tell him. She knew she did. The next day at school, she tried to avoid him, knowing in her heart she would have to tell him eventually. At lunch, she finally decided she would take him aside. She pulled him into the cafeteria and told him her dreaded secret. His expression emotionless, he turned around so that his back was facing her. She figured he just needed some time alone. She decided she would leave. She turned around, and then paused. Maybe she should stay, comfort him. It was both of their problems, not only his, or hers.
As her thoughts continued and built up, she finally decided she should leave, for the best, she figured. Right as she was about to take a step forward, he drew a knife from his jean pocket, quickly turning around and stabbed her right in the middle of her spine. The force of his outstretched arm holding the knife was as powerful as a kangaroos kick. Her legs collapsed beneath her as her head knocked against a blue plastic cafeteria chair. The agonizing pain grew and grew, then suddenly faded as she slipped into an unconscious state.
She’s been told that as soon as she hit the floor the cafeteria had fallen silent. Then, after a moment of silence and shock, cell phones had been whipped out to call 911. She was reported dead by the witnesses on the phone. The police had been over immediately, accompanied by an ambulance, which had dragged her to the nearest hospital. He was arrested immediately as the police got there; still standing with his am outstretched, face emotionless.
She lies there now on the hard pavement. The wheels are now off the ground, beginning to slow their spinning action and halting. The metal cage she is trapped in prevents her from reaching her former reality. She hears a baby's obnoxious moan coming from a distant room. Footsteps begin to echo around her, and the trap that clasps her body is set upright. Scolding fills her ears as she is pushed back to the cell that contains her. She begins to dream of her former reality.