Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Worthless calls to lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkeveris
    ASL Info:    19/F/Someplace silent
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 34/62/38
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1090



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWorthless calls to lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These unheard words,
    echo through my wounds
    chaining to the self made tourniquets
    shards,of my past life

    Latching to my stained rank soul
    degrading my self, past perception
    nothing light shall awaken inside this shell
    - -- -- -- --

    Call upon the innocent child once more
    the child of my past
    to cleanse my putrid body
    and reteach my self

    The path that I should walk
    yet again I do not answer myself
    My past stays far beyond my tainted hands
    - -- -- -- --

    Time has encouraged such impurity upon this soul
    shredded the last remains of hope
    from a rank black lump
    called my heart

    encased in self loath and despair
    I despisingly walk along a path unchosen
    stray from my desire and dreams
    - -- -- -- --

    Awaken the cold dark figure
    sealed away from the world and my family
    once again I have lost ...
    falling to the daemon , that is me




    Submitted on 2006-10-20 21:11:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good portrayal of a once good and pure person going down the wrong path who now wants to redeem themself. You make good use of imagery, and the literary relfection of your pain almost makes me feel it. But remember, it's never really too late to redeem yourself.

    Now, as reciprocity is my policy, please comment back on one of my works =]
    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Aurora-Borealis | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    122218

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry