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    dots Submission Name: Where Love Goes to Diedots

    Author: pinurplepassion
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere in TX
    Elite Ratio:    5.92 - 165/146/17
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1451
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 634

       I wrote this piece quite some time ago, but I haven't been able to get the creative juices going in a couple days so I thought I would submit it and see what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere Love Goes to Diedots

    The place where waves stop crashing,
    And stars refuse to shine
    Where Heaven's just a mystery,
    To body soul and mind.

    A place where hearts stop beating,
    And birds refuse to sing
    A place where you look inside yourself
    And don't see anything.

    A place so full of sorrow,
    That even trees are blue
    A place that knows no meaning
    A place that knows no you.

    This is a place I've been to
    One too many times,
    A place where dreams get shattered,
    It's where love goes to die

    Submitted on 2004-05-26 11:52:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very well done, normally when writers try to rhyme, it turns out horribly, but the rhyme in this... it works. I think thats a pretty dang good compliment.
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by peoplekityo | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so very sad and poignant. the rhyme works well here and doesn't stumble. it just reads like a heart breaking... *ouch*
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This work flowed very well, it had a good rhythm and the subject was very original in the way it was portrayed, nice job. Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      i have a similar styled poem, only yours is better. it's like reading the lighting process of a stage - each part lighted differently and one at a time until you step back and the stage is ready for the players. melancholia beauty at it's best, very lovely to read. =]

    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      p.s. forgive me that my comments are crappy. your poem has a deafening energy, like a silent movie. i will try to improve on my critiques.
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem sounds very depressing, which is why i love it ! the despair and frustration, reminds me when my uncle would make me watch jonathan livingston's seagull over and over. don't ask me why? i'm a weird one. i'm being honest of what came to mind. your poem made my day. today everything fit into place and your poem made for a good evening towards my slumber. buona notte
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that you had some real great imagry in parts of your poem and i liked it . i liked the rhyming in this poem i thought it worked well
    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]

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