I think the repitition of the past lowers its worth, the last line doesnt quite fit and the flow could use some work, here is subtle, yet still seemingly forced rhymes that I think could be worked on other then that great job.
heh yea the last line definitely feels out of place. "keep the past the past looking into the future your destiny is not prewritten its a fine line of literature"lol it's the first think that came to mind when i reread it..but maybe it doesn't fit in with the concept. anyway..i liked it.it seemed like a poetic-old-performing-arts kinda feeling.and of course a heartbreak of some sort.is it just called untitled or does it still need a title? eitherway i thought it was pretty cool.i feel like this alot.only because life is filled with hearts breaking & thoughts unraveling to depression. but the past is important coz i think someday it'll just solve our future. keep writing!coz yes...i enjoyed