[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Love?dots

    Author: Orin
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 93/97/43
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 1035
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 658

       It all makes sense now.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Come, sit with me, let's watch the world fall apart together.
    My shoelaces are actually on fire, good thing they're ironed.
    The sun will come up. I know. It always does.
    Is Marla Singer really the Cinderella of our generation? And what the hell kind of name is Valmont anyway.
    The old man raped his daughter. Funny...I thought he was smart.
    Did anyone ever find the chicken? I guess not.
    And what about those numbers, huh? There are so damn many of them...I'm just at a loss for words.
    But none of them matter...Come, sit with me, let's watch the world fall apart together.

    Submitted on 2006-10-22 12:50:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey i loved this, it really gets you thinking about alot of thoughts and ideas as you get sucked in and pulled into the train of thought. The end brings you back to the beginning which makes kind of a loop and shows you that things run in a vicious circle, you know like history repeats itself or the same things keep happening over and over again like the world or society never learns from its mistakes.

    A good read and yet again i like your poetic style more than your story writing style. This was excellent in its own rite.


    | Posted on 2009-09-13 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      There are a lot of Nikkis commenting on this. Crazy!
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      Marla is a classy broad. ha
    I like this. The world is sh*t, but you worded it in an excellent way. People ruin everything.
    I really love the part about the sun coming up. It's simple, but such a good point.
    And the end is perfect.. as is the title. I really have nothing negative to say.
    You have a lot of talent, and you use it well.

    | Posted on 2009-09-11 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      ohhh...i like this. its...i dont knkow how to explain it. maybe im just weird, but i like the abserdity of it(however that word is spelled) you think like i do sometimes...in circles and in your own way, so that sometimes others dont understand what you want to say. or at least thats what it sounds like.

    Come, sit with me, let's watch the world fall apart together.
    My shoelaces are actually on fire, good thing they're ironed.
    The sun will come up. I know. It always does.

    this part is my favorate. shoelaces burning, but at tleast they are ironed? it remends me of something. and the fact that the sun will always rise? ive thoguht about that alot. its funny how the sun can rise after some of this stuff happens in the world, itsnt it?
    i dont really see anything wrong with this....its..i dont knw, one of those things i like, but cant explain why in words. great job, and thanks for sharing. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]