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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Madness in this.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pprophet
    ASL Info:    19/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 91/12/9
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 630
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 734



    Description:
       Not by FAR the best thing I've ever written; In fact I hate this piece alot. I wrote it some time back, and never really liked it. I guess i'm just to picky about what I show to the world. But ah well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMadness in this.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    approaching epoch's derogate from any failed attempts
    truth ostracized by actions, words scaled descents
    diligent disruptions evade, interupted by space not time
    with you, I'd lose it. then have to chase my mind
    architectual flaws built into my grand design
    here to give every beat away, just to stand in line
    Nights spent alone, differentiates madness and this
    I hurt you, yet love and need you, do you see the madness in this?
    No second shots, but only one empty chamber
    asked for forever, all God sent me was anger
    with an unsettled stomach, I burn our last bridge
    I'd regret it all, but life moves to fast for those kids..





    Submitted on 2006-10-22 16:01:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you're right. This isn't the best you've written but it is still sprinkled with ur unique style. I like the way you utilize language eg: diligent disruptions evade. That's pretty cool. Ok so my favorite line is: I hurt you, yet love and need you. That is a pretty powerful statement. I re-read it a few times cuz it hit me. Overall it has its ups and its downs.
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by chelseagirl077 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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    January 10 07
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