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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Asylum Boy, Entry 5dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkess
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 30/93/39
    Words: 768
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 1056
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5088



    Description:
       I'm sure where this going, I just don't know how I'll get there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsylum Boy, Entry 5dots
    -------------------------------------------


         If I close my eyes, the world is no longer real. If I can't see you, I'm no longer alive.

         ...

         It all seemed so simple until now! I was right, he was right, everyone else was wrong.

         Now I think they're all right and I'm only a mistake.

         It's been a week since I last wrote, and one day since I've eaten. I think it's my punishment... Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.

         Five days ago, Seio took me outside for the first time in my life. Beside the asylum, there's a small courtyard with a vegetable garden in it. I'd heard that one of the other doctors maintained it for the few times patients were allowed out.

         Everything looked amazing. The sky looked as if it was part of some artist's giant canvas. Each of the clouds looked specifically placed and painted, as if the world had been planned, just like they were. Green leaves, brown wood, pink flowers... I took it in all at once, and it hurt my eyes. Everything looked so delicate, so bright. I was scared it was a dream, and Seio seemed to understand. He let me cling to his arm as I went through the garden, smelling, touching, hearing what I'd only imagined.

         The courtyard was small, and I must've gone through it at least fifteen times before I'd gotten tired. Seio asked me if I wanted to go back inside, and I'd stared at him as if he was crazy. We sat on a bench instead.

         While we were resting, I took my time looking at the sky by tilting my head back as Seio talked. We chatted about pointless things, but I didn't care. I was too happy. However, one unexpected topic nearly changed that.

         "Remember when I said I'd get you out of here?" Seio had asked me, and I'd nodded yes.

         Giving me a soft smile, he took my hand and gently pulled me to my feet. I found myself walking beside him as he directed me to a door in the corner of the courtyard. Seio pulled a ring of keys from his pocket and began to unlock the many different sorts of locks by it's handle. Soon, it was open, and we were on the other side.

         I hadn't known what to expect, but this wasn't anything I'd imagine. The door lead directly past the outer asylum wall. About fifteen metres away was the electric fence that surrounded the building's perimeter. Many different cameras were stationed to observe various areas, including one pointed directly at us. I froze.

         "Relax, relax..." Seio had whispered in my ear. "Chance is on security."

         Chance was the only person besides Seio I'd ever trusted. They'd been a couple at one point, but had split because of various reasons, including the fact that they would be schooled on different continents. When they met again at this asylum, many of those differences had been changed, but they saw no reason to start another relationship. Seio had introduced her to me shortly after we'd met. Though we didn't speak too often, we'd formed a bond.

         Exhaling slowly, I grasped his hand just a little bit tighter. He pointed to a gate further down the fenceline. Past it, there was a driveway that lead to a road, which was surrounded by cornfields. "See that?" Seio asked, and checked his watch. "Any minute now, a truck will come through to deliver food. When it does, you run for it."

         I wanted to tell him it wouldn't work, wanted to tell him I was afraid. I should've expected that him letting me go without any food or water was a bit suspicious. But freedom was too close.

         The truck did come. I did run. But I never made it to the gate. "Freeze!" a voice behind me yelled. Before I realized what was happening, I was forced to my knees. My hands were pulled behind my back as metal cuffs were slid onto my wrists. I glanced around, panicking, and realized I'd been caught. How?

         Holding a walkie talkie, looking smug, was my doctor. A man stood beside him, praising him, and I nearly cried as reality hit me. Seio, my mentor, my caregiver, my only friend...

         Something was pressed to my back, and I heard a small click as a shock travelled up my spine and through my limbs. A small feeling of paralyzation struck me, before unconsciousness took my thoughts away.




    Submitted on 2006-10-22 16:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Saw a betrayal coming last time, and wow was I right. I don't know how I called it, except that's basically what I would've done if I were writing this.

    I have one qualm, however: how does Dove know what a painter's canvas is if he's been institutionalized...?

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      OMGOOD GRIEF you have to be kidding me...just when he made me think he's all that and a bag of chips with dip on the side...he goes and makes a total ass of himself...what a jerk.

    WHy Why WHy...I'm asking and I know the only way to find out is to read the next story...so I will.

    But Dang what on earth was that...and who was the dude...beside him...sheesh.

    oh and I'll also say at the very beginning I was a little put off by the they're all liers feeling from the first few lines...but now it makes sense. I just don't see how he 'Dove' can be so optimistic and not want to lash out at every one around him at this time...but yeah...I'll find out right now...hahaha

    LOVING IT
    | Posted on 2007-02-01 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Seio must die! Seio hurt my feelings. :(
    I feel really sorry for Dove, and I can relate to the way he feels, I've been let down my a few people I've looked up to or trusted...it totally sucked.
    You definitely have something worth publishing here, I'm on the read the next two...

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-11-11 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this story.. I can't wait for the next one!
    Only it makes me sad that Seio lied. But it was good, I really thought he was going to get out of there, nice twist.
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by EbonyBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      ohh dang makes me wanna kick seio in the balls. Nice twist youve got people hooked
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by (Eagle) | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, i read this entry, then had to go back and see the other 4. overall, id say you did a great job. this is written in the perspective of Dove, right? this was a good write. i read some of your other comments, and agree that you could possibly turn this into a book if you keep up the entries. its a little weird reading them as posts, cuz they seem to be a little....discontinuous i guess. i dont know how to explain it. but i guess if you are writing this as a journal entry that would explain it. if you do decide to write more, are you going to have dove gradually understand who he is? you said his parents were both insane...and that he grew up there unnoticed. and the doctor guy you ahve in here...wow, is he a weirdo. he remeinds me of a characterr from another book i read, tho i cant remember what one. hes kind of a manipulator...he seems to like the power that dove has placed in him. and then betryaying dove? what outcome will that bring? lol, sorry, when i read a story my mind goes into overdrive. i like to think about what could happen, and if i can read ahead. keep posting. its a huge job to write a book/novel, if that is what you may be thinking about turning it into. cant wait for the next part! ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      AWWWH! :(

    Dookiehead! That was uncool.

    Getting tazed sucks. The feeling of paralyzation isn't small. :|

    Well...I guess the Good Doctor didn't bring the kitten.

    Poo.

    Write more!

    Cheers.
    ~Orin
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]


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