Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: PiperH
ASL Info:    17, F, Georgia
Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 253 /299 /172
Words: 79
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1037
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 503


A snowman that melted or a metaphor of a girl who's heart went cold. You choose.


Her body fades away
as the night turns into day
the sunlight shines upon her
her pale white face becomes a blur
melting slowly, her smiles gone
she'll disappear before dawn
her arms and legs fall to the ground
in the puddles of water, they will drown
disappointed faces, stare at her grave
the grave of the girl they couldn't save
cold as ice, she didn't have a heart
but my oh my, what a wonderful piece of art

Submitted on 2006-10-22 21:26:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I really enjoyed reading this poem. It paints a great picture with its rich imagery. I really like the word choice and ryhming (sorry if i can't spell), it makes the poem move with a very interesting beat.
| Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by Sweet as Sugar | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?