[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: 10dots

    Author: Skinwalker
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 36/57/28
    Words: 1750
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 1636
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 9520

       This a long story, but one of my best works. It's about ninjas. hope you enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The moon that hung overhead that night recieved the images of a gruesome battle. We were assigned different quarries, or prey, unfortunately it was each other that we had to hunt, for this was the way of the ninja. We were forced to train from dawn till midnight, thusly increasing our instincts and stamina, so most were equally matched. Not Fujikuro or I.
    We went out that night exactly at ten pm. Usually we were out there at six, but this time out of ten, only five(if that many) were coming back alive. My best friend, Fujikuro, and I were the top of the class, undefeatable at most jutsus. So naturally we were cocky, because we both knew we could do this with our eyes closed. Heh, funny how you can know one thing then know nothing at all. The air was chilly so we all realized that complete conceilment depended on us covering our mouths, so we did so. That night as I pulled my face mask up I realized the stars were bright, so bright as if they were calling out to us to stop. I began to feel sick, almost none of us has ever killed a man, now we were expected to kill our classmates. This was sick. I looked at Fujikuro and said," I don't like this, thinking about killing my friends...my family...ughh...", he looked at me with his cool, calm eyes and said," Then don't think about it!". "OK."
    Our senseis stepped out and handed us each a scroll...our targets. "Do not open these until you have hidden.", one of them told us matter-of-factly. He held a fan with the words Kill painted upon it. He waved this and said, "Go!!!!". We bolted.
    We all hid. I had always preferred the trees, death from above and all that bunk. I slowly reached for my scroll, for the tiniest movement may give my location. I stopped to listen for any sounds. I heard nothing, but the crickets. I finally opened my scroll with clammy hands. What I read almost made me fall outta the tree. The scroll was blank. It was about this time the cricket chirps ceased. I was found.
    The next thing I hear is a whooshing sound and a sharp pain in my side. I was hit. I quickly made my way into a treetop with more conceilment available. I stopped and listened...crickets. I sighed silently in relief. I then reached for my wound and found a bo dart (think aerodinamic carpenter nails). The wound was superficial. Someone was trying to show off. As I looked for the high horser I kept thinking back to the scroll...blank. That meant everyone was a target. I suddenly seized up in fear. Fujikuro!!!
    He was my rival and best friend. This is going to be hellishly harder than I presumed. I had only one advantage over him...I was innovative. I snapped back into reality when I realized there was silence. I saw a dark figure dancing about the trees. It was Sakura...she was always cocky. She always chose dark red clothing, hell, she even died her long hair a dark red. Her favorite weapon was the bo darts because they are harder to kill with. Hmmm, so she tried to kill me. I watched her like a hawk, I was waiting for one mess up. I prepared my knives. She glanced up at me, hmmm and left herself open.
    She was able to mutter one cry as I flung two of my six knives at her. They hit with the sound of a hammer hitting rotted wood. She fell to the ground in shock, and a second shadow figure sped by leaving three darts in the back of her head. I had to look away for a moment, because it was so disgusting. I then realized that I had given up my position when I threw my knives. I tried to leap away, but the sound of three darts hitting beside my feet caused me to fumble and fall.
    I luckily corrected this greivous error by grabbing a branch catching myself, but dislocating my arm. This was no big deal to me, after all we were taught how to dislocate our limbs to free ourselves if caught. I noticed him reloading, and I was hanging there like a pinata, almost summoning his darts to me. But I knew what I was doing. In the moment it took him to look down at his dartgun, I had fallen to the ground and withdrawn my favorite weapon, the demon wind star( a shuriken the size of a grown man's chest). My favorite weapon for a reason, though hard to master it is almost impossible to dodge. With a quick windup and toss the monsterous death wheel set upon destroying him.
    It's called a demon wind star because if thrown properly it would scream a scream of a thousand demons calling upon your soul for sustenance. Disheartening even the bravest of warriors, and more eerie is the fact it returns to the thrower after a certain distance, barring it hadn't been stuck into a tree. The star screamed as it hurtled for him...I purposely aimed low, so naturally there was a quick sssllllkkk sound as it sped through both of his legs. He fell to the ground screaming. He screamed for less than 3 seconds and seizured. I ran to him instinctly. I raised his head and said I'm sorry. He closed his eyes and became still. I felt for a pulse...luckily it was still strong. I ripped my sleeves off and tied his legs with them, trying to keep him from bleeding to death. I then heard breathing."You know you'll catch a DEATH of a cold walkin' around like that.
    I turned and my eyes fell upon a bloody mess that was Fujikuro. He was soaked from head to toe in blood, causing his yellow gi to look a dark brown. He was leaning against a tree with a cocky smile, and he began to chuckle. "How many you kill? I got six.". I stared at him slowly realizing the blood on him wasn't his. "Three by hand three by sword", he unsheithed his ninja-to, which was doused in blood as well. He started towards me, "You and I are the only ones left.", upon the last words he smiled. "Fujikuro this isn't a game!!!", I shrieked at him. His eyes fell upon mine. They were no longer cool, and calm...they were the eyes of a beast in a bloodlust. I realized that talking wasn't going to do any good...so I pulled my sword out and began towards him...towards my fate.
    We began, my stance was traditional sword in front stance. His always had the dull side of the blade running down his forearm, so that he could kill as he passed. He raised his hand and signaled the Tiger meditative symbol with his hand, I then focused to his face directly behind it...the bastard was smiling.
    He quickly came at me, and just as he was in reached he ducked and sliced my calf deeply and while rolling he threw a shuriken into the hamstring on my other leg. I fell dropping my sword. I glanced at my blade, and saw the moon staring back at me. But I couldn't see any stars. I watched as the moon was blocked out by a gigantic black object. About this time Fujikuro's tabi landed on my blade. "Heh heh, I alway knew I was better.", upon this we heard a sound that resonated through the trees and sounded as if every being in hell was released. I noticed the demon wind star hurtling towards Fujikuro. This moment lasted for an eternity for me...and I know it did the same for Fujikuro. The star cought him in his chest and shoulder piercing through his body with a splattering sound. The momentum carried him three feet at which point it dropped him to the ground which quickly grew red from his life fluids. I glance to my left and see blood puddled onto the ground from the stubs of my other classmate. I saw my eyes and they were the eyes of a child full of life. I also saw Fujikuro preparing to hurl a knife. I quickly roll backwards and grip the ground, finding the dartgun and I instinctually exhaled and released the darts.
    I could watch all three darts move towards Fujikuro so slowly that I still believe I could've stopped them, but I was in shock. All our memories flowed into one stream running from him to me. Our suppers, our pranks, our playing, and our sparring. We both realized these things were over. The darts hit his neck, chest , and finally his eye. His eye burst in a bloody pop. He layed back and the sound of his knife hitting the ground was the only sound that could be heard at that time in the forest, and this sound will haunt me for years to come.
    I slowly got up and heard the saddest sound. It was remeniscent to that of a kittens mew. It was Fujikuro crying my name." Naki... I can't hear you.", he whined quietly. "I'm here my brother.", I said with the hot gnawing feeling of tears in my eye. I reached for his hand, "I'm here.", he looked at me with his cool, calm eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry I forced you to killed yourself, but I may die in honor...for no better of a person there is to take my life...bless you brother." His eyes became cold and glassy, I began crying, but soon I felt the most horrible feeling that could befall a human...I felt nothing I became numb.
    I gazed at my reflection in his dull, dead eyes and saw just that in my eyes. I had became a man, a weapon, and dead all at once. I closed his eyes bowed my head and turned away. This would be the last time I'd ever see my friend...my brother. Now the flower tree petals always seem to be falling. I never was able to be me again...in killing him I indeed succeeded in killing myself. I returned to sensei. I was congratulated for murder. I had returned to sensei at 10:15pm. I was ten years old....we all were. Now we are Ninja.

    Submitted on 2004-05-26 14:57:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow this is definitely a kick ass story. I could picture everything well. I would of loved it if you gave a description of what the other ninjas besides the girl looked like. Is a sad story, would make a great movie if you like add more to it. wonderful job, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by Exodus Night Sky | [ Reply to This ]
      That was kickass. Do/did they really do that? it seems horribly wasteful. Just one thing, i'm pretty sure if you pop someone's eyeball it doesn't require subsequent closing - the lid muscles arent that strong and i think they'd collapse. Kick ass. Did i mention that? You said it was about ninjas and I was like 'crap' but that was really good. Well written. Are you trained in nin/jujuitsu (sic)?
    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]