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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Chance!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kristen Gudsnuk
    ASL Info:    21/f/CT
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 182/229/86
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 834



    Description:
       wow, after writing this poem, the word "chance" sounds really funny to me. You know? Like if you say the word "fork" over and over and over again, it starts to sound foreign and clumsy, and you wonder if maybe the reason it sounds so odd is because it's really fourk, or forck, or something?
    maybe it's just me. But now the word "chance" feels like speaking french with cotton in my mouth.
    (if you guys don't get what I'm saying, it's cool. It's not relevant to the poem at all.)
    this is just about... a BOYYY!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChance!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    why is it that
    when I'm half-jogging to the movies
    in a dogpuke-green old hoodie
    my face unwashed my hair unbrushed
    my general appearance screaming "bag lady!"
    I chance to run into
    him?

    he didn't care, I guess, that I looked
    like the shittiest shit to ever be shat
    in fact, he smiled in that tall, quiet way
    and asked me where I'd been, and how
    then he requested a hug
    which I duly imparted

    I was late to the movie
    because walking there, I was weighted by
    the twitchy-fingered, balloons popping joyous possibility
    could this be my chance?
    do I have a chance?
    (no chance in hell, Kristen, not one in hell)
    shut up insecurities--!
    This could be my chance!




    Submitted on 2006-10-24 08:41:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      why is it that
    when I'm half-jogging to the movies
    in a dogpuke-green old hoodie
    my face unwashed my hair unbrushed
    my general appearance screaming "bag lady!"
    I chance to run into
    him?

    he didn't care, I guess, that I looked
    like the [censored]tiest [censored] to ever be shat
    in fact, he smiled in that tall, quiet way
    and asked me where I'd been, and how
    then he requested a hug
    which I duly imparted

    I was late to the movie
    because walking there, I was weighted by
    the twitchy-fingered, balloons popping joyous possibility
    could this be my chance?
    do I have a chance?
    (no chance in hell, Kristen, not one in hell)
    shut up insecurities--!
    This could be my chance!



    What did prompt you to stumble into him at what appeared to be such an inappropriate time? Hmmm... Chance=fate=karma=possibility=life=???

    It sounds as if your self esteem is nestled firmly next to the remains of the Titanic, young lady. You fear that randomness will remain just that, rather than evolve into the possibilty your instincts are considering. I understand the need to isolate certain words in each stanza to emphasixe 'him' and 'hug' and 'possibility,' but you might consider homogenizing the lengths of the other lines for readability (unless the raggedness suits your purpose as a 'bag lady' theme).

    Nicely, written good Squeaker.
    Take care.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-10-24 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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    122605

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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