[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Room of Tormentdots

    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 483
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 861

       I really don't know where this came from. Thoughts deranged escape me! Anyways, its a bit chaotic, but it works, somewhat. Wasn't sure about the title, if it works well with the concept of the write... but whatever... Let me know what ya think!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRoom of Tormentdots

    The foundation of my life,
    Cracked, on the verge of collapse.
    Four walls surround me,
    Will crumble and fall, perhaps.

    The roof over my head,
    Sways with the wind,
    Could cave in at any minute
    No need to pretend.

    The floor I sleep on each night,
    Cold, hard, bruises my back.
    A puddle of tears in the corner,
    Thoughts fell through the crack...

    No window to peer through,
    The world outside so obscure
    Nothing here but myself,
    And demons torture to endure.

    Walls, ceiling, foundation,
    All weary and worn,
    As my soul suffers,
    Feeling tattered and torn.

    Where is my miracle?
    Can't see my falling star,
    To have left me in this room
    Life has been a bitch, thus far.

    Submitted on 2006-10-24 14:15:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      reminds me of a haunting where the soul or entity can't leave and is trapped. a tortured existance. i could dissect your poem into particles but i think i'll leave it as is. true to life and full of feelings.
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by disillusion | [ Reply to This ]
      "Life has been a [censored], thus far." - - true. Life is awful. where do we find the time to live? It's all annoying, life that is.

    Your poem is clear. I can imagine myself in this swaying room, terrified, crying and wishing for it to end. Yes, the room hurts. But what does it symbolize?
    | Posted on 2006-10-24 00:00:00 | by LovelyGoddess | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]