Clear by Lil gal

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Submission Name: Clear dots

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Author:	Lil gal
ASL Info:	28/F-ya/here
Elite Ratio:	3.19 - 354/210/34
Words:	97

Class/Type:	Misc/Venting
Total Views:	150
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	613

Description:
What can you do when people have the wrong idea about shit.

Clear

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I step away from you,
trying 2 get a different view.

I see lush green grass,
I see mountainous trees,
I see all the lies you've handed too me.

The blinded barrier that I looked through,
all because I loved you.

I see clearly now,
cause I broke through..

Punished for crimes I didn't commit,
I no longer care, just don't give a shit.

Believe what you want and think that it's true,
say what you want,
I will no longer be blue.

Submitted on 2006-10-24 15:29:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  They say hind sight is 20/20. You have put your
words well. Your work pulled me in right away.
It did what it was intended. Well put.

Joshua
| Posted on 2006-12-22 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
  "I step away from you,
trying 2 get a different view."

wow I loved it, the message, the idea, how u made it interesting, alot of metaphors in a very short piece,

I especially liked the opening lines, very emotional and well expressed,

"I see lush green grass,
I see mountainous trees,
I see all the lies you've handed too me"

U see, I loved the many images, you brought. Greatly structured and had a nice ring to it, as I read it,

"mountainous" well english is a secong language to me, straight a's in english though, still I dont know if thats a word or not, well I know u want to make a metaphor about, trees on a mountain, which bring a view in the readers mind that is beautiful, like the past between the two of you, and then you brake it up about how it is now, I just dont think "mountainous" is a word,

"Believe what you want and think that it's true,
say what you want,
I will no longer be blue."

I like how u ended it up, I think u diod it perfectly. cause u made this poem, out of anger, but it still kept its meaning down to the very last line, where u clearly make you r point about that, that you dont care anymore, and you have felt down, but no more,. I love it

Keep it up, cheers!!

| Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by -=Bass=- | [ Reply to This ]
  kool poem I like
| Posted on 2006-11-18 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
  See...this is a perfect example of why they made chicken flavored chicken...for no matter where you go and no matter what you do...it still tastes like chicken, ya know?

"Too" should be "To" in that one line though...

Apart frome that, nice write.
| Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  pleasing one's self is so much more gratifying than loving and losing... don't you think?
| Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]

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