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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mind controldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jslbabygirl101
    ASL Info:    18/f/ga
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 76/82/49
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 132
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       This was written out of nothing at first then it became real.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMind controldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Out of all the times I told you,
    you still won't believe me.
    Even though I say it's true,
    you won't let me be.

    Through all the times I told you so,
    out of all the times you were wrong.
    you still want to believe that's what you know,
    even though you aren't that strong.

    I don't understand why you are so nieve,
    why you won't believe.
    Why would I lie to you?
    why won't you believe what I say is true?

    We were the best of friends,
    but you turned your back.
    so this is how it ends,
    I think your heart is pure black.

    We had come a long ways from enemies,
    we had become best friends.
    I thought you said we were like brother and sister at one point?
    but I guess it was all a lie.




    Submitted on 2006-10-25 00:22:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      powerfull emotions, that strong undercurrent of anger riding on the pain adn hurt. i like the style of your writing, the way the words flow together, perhaps not well rhymed, but it has a certain flow that not all free verse writers can get into their pieces....

    despite the sadness of this piece it is art...keep it up!! looking forward to seeing some more of your work!!

    also check your spelling-- you spelled "naive" nieve

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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