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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Secret Life of Treesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vintagepepper
    ASL Info:    21/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    7.05 - 191/153/46
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 1343
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1032



    Description:
       make of it what you will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Secret Life of Treesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i wish i were as noble as a tree,
    as enlightened, as proud and as wise as Irmensul, the German tree of the universe.

    but i am not.

    i do not have my roots well grounded.
    they scrape and rake at the top soil, craving the rich minerals held deeper within, the minerals that enrich a life, the minerals that weave a life's past.

    my limbs do not reach toward the heavens and beyond, though they long to.
    and they reach for them ever so weakly, and then they weep,
    hanging limply in their failures and sadness.

    i am not antiquated or tactful.
    you cannot see the fibers of my makeup,
    nor are my age defining rings yet manifested about my core.

    all i can say is that i do reach, perhaps not as far as is masterful, but my attempts do not go without effort

    and one day, i will make it,
    one day...i will be a tree.




    Submitted on 2006-10-25 01:28:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful, Kristina, and the story unmistakable! You have a most enjoyable skill at prose, and I enjoyed reading this very much!
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Terrific work! This is wonderful, though it seems I've heard that title somewhere. My only suggestion is to tighten it a bit:

    and they reach for them ever so weakly, then weep,
    hanging limply in failures and sadness.

    i am not antiquated, not tactful.
    you cannot see the fibers of my makeup,
    nor my age defining rings yet manifested about my core.

    all i can say is i do reach, perhaps not as far as masterful, but my attempts do not go without effort

    and one day...i will be a tree.

    Terrific! A fave!
    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a masterful bit of prose, and I really enjoyed it! You have a remarkable talent!
    | Posted on 2006-11-18 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i wish i were as noble as a tree,
    as enlightened, as proud and as wise
    as Irmensul, the German tree of the universe.

    but i am not.

    i do not have my roots well grounded.
    they scrape and rake at the top soil,
    craving the rich minerals held deeper within,
    the minerals that enrich a life,
    the minerals that weave a life's past.

    my limbs do not reach toward the heavens
    and beyond, though they long to.
    they reach (upward) ever so weakly,
    and then they weep,
    hanging limply in their (failure) and sadness.

    i am not antiquated or tactful.
    you cannot see the fibers of my makeup,
    nor are my age defining rings
    yet manifested about my core.

    all i can say is that i do reach,
    perhaps not as far as is masterful,
    but my attempts do not go without effort

    and one day, i will make it,
    one day...i will be a tree.



    Whatever you may or may noft be, this is a fine poem about the struggle to find purpose and nobility in a world sorely lacking in both attributes. I've made a few suggestions involving lineation and word choice, but those are minor cosmetic tweaks that you may use or discard as you see fit. Very nicely written, btw.

    Take care, VP.
    Bill.

    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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