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    dots Submission Name: For the initiative impaireddots

    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1203
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 292

       i was thinking about guys i know who are scared to make the first move. i wanted to word it in a way its never been said before..so criticze! critize! but dont patronize *wink*

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor the initiative impaireddots

    Frozen in speed
    Youre a passing phase returning
    Yellow, red, green
    First one to the finish line wins

    You thaw out in space
    You burn my senses as im churning
    Up, down left
    Dont play my game to lose

    Submitted on 2004-05-26 17:54:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      nono by all means let the laughter flow...i am glad u like it. it does take a few rereads to get it. Thank u for ur comment Blue!
    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      it's abstract cubism at it's historcial height. at first i thought this poem was for the lazy among us (*raises hand proudly*) but then it was just about guys who just can't hold it together long enough to be cool and suave to ask a girl out. i had to read it more than a few times, to strip away each layer of nerves and inner dialogue, which was great. in the end, i was laughing, which may or may not have been your intention. i apologize. =]

    | Posted on 2004-05-26 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      Firstly, thanks for the favs addition! Second, I don't make any moves with any girl (probably fear) so I could relate well after reading a few times. I still can't help but think it critises these kinds of people in a way, but I can't find any creative critism to give right now, so have a nice day!!
    | Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]

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